My mom cries out "NO!" when I try to leave. What could be going on with her?

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/why-do-some-of-our-elderly-have-a-change-to-irrational-and-hurtful-behaviors-and-some-do-not-474206.htm

Previous post says Mom is now in a SNF permanently. It also said Mom has been on Hospice.

I would say her anxiety is causing this. Sometimes it worsens and now she is in a strange place. Has she been checked for any cognitive decline. Of course she says NO. She probably scared and feels alone. Do you get out of her room into a common area? Now the weather is getting nice, outside for a bit. The SNF should have actvities.

You still need boundries, though, for you.

It sounds like your mom shouldn't be alone any longer, that she is fearful, or lonely, or agitated.

Are there other caregivers around when you leave?

Your profile says that you are being pressured into placing your mom in a facility. Can you say more about why? Does someone think she needs a higher level of care?

Dear Ms, I’m so sorry that this is being difficult.

Your profile says that your mother aged 74 has lots of problems, but it doesn’t sound as though she has dementia. She isn’t happy, but she is ‘in her right mind’. (I’m sorry, I’m very tired and I’ve lost the PC words). If this is correct, then it’s perfectly normal for her to want you to stay with her for longer, but it’s a ‘want’ not a ‘need’. She probably feels that she can’t cope alone, and is trying to hold onto you being there.

It’s the same story about her not wanting to go to a facility. Almost no-one is keen to go to a facility, but it can also be a ‘need’, irrespective of any ‘wants’ or preferences. If she is angry and verging on violent, the time really has come.

Once the move has happened, you can go back to being a daughter, not a bewildered caregiver. Things will get worse if you don’t make the change, she will be more and more upset, and your ability to cope (and love) will come under increasing pressure. Your profile says that you want to become more ‘self aware’. Try to calm yourself down and face this very difficult situation. And remember that it is possible to bring someone back from a facility if you do decide that it was a bad mistake.

Best wishes, Margaret

MsAtin- That is so heart breaking. I am sorry I don't have an answer for you.

Is your mom living in a nursing home? Could she be frightened of being left alone?