My husband has dementia and his personality goes from nice to angry in a flash if he does not like what I say. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

My husband has dementia and his personality goes from nice to angry in a flash if he does not like what I say. Any advice?

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He is very angry except with other people. He cannot drive, his license has been taken away, yet he constantly tells me how to drive. I am afraid I will get in an accident because I am so stressed. My patience is running low during these arguments. I don't know what to do.

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His anger might be able to be managed through medication. Speak to his doctor about this. As much as you don't like his constant anger, he probably doesn't like feeling that way all the time either only he can't express it.

Try not to contradict him as that is a trigger for most people with dementia. While you're out driving and he comments on the beautiful green sky agree with him that the green sky IS beautiful.

And like 97yroldmom suggested, whenever your husband experiences a drastic change in mood have him checked out for a UTI.
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There are a few basics.
Whenever behavior changes, get him tested for a urinary tract infection.
Have his meds managed by a geriatric psychiatrist.
Decide if it’s time to get a caretaker in the home, sign him up for day care or consider if it’s time to consider ALF or Memory Care.
Do something to manage your own mood. Exercise, walk, meditate, seek therapy.
Try to figure out his best time of the day. Maybe that’s when you want to be in the car.
Read the book Being Mortal. Watch Teepa Snow YouTube videos. Read all you can about his condition to better understand how to manage situations.
I’m sorry this has happened to you and to him. Set boundaries and come back to this site often. We will try to help.
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