Some background about her, she is 65 years old, has had issues with hypertension throughout her life until 11 years ago, one day she forgot to take her medication and she had a stroke. She survived but that left half of her body paralyzed. We were informed that with massages and excersizing there was a chance that she'd get back control of her left arm and leg but she always refused to get proper massages and refused our attempts to get her to engage in physical activities. So at this point, her left arm and leg are gone.

To the issue at hand, it's been a week now that her left hand is very swollen and has changed in color to dark-ish pink, almost purple at some spots. We immediately called a doctor (we didn't want to put her through the trouble of transportation and being in a place that isn't home, since that stresses her out) specializing in neurology, then another one in dermatology, a surgeon and then another more general purpose one. One of them claimed it was inflammation, another claimed it was rheumatism, the surgeon said it was bacteria, the other one said that it was her diabetes causing it. We got the medication they suggested for all three of those. Aside from her diabetes which has slightly gone down but seems stuck now (at a high level), her hand and leg haven't changed, however today her right eye was almost bloodshot and she has red-ish splotches on her right hand. Also her right ear seems a bit swollen too now.

What worries me even more is her behavior has kind of changed.. She mostly lays down and tries to sleep, her apetite has kind of gone down (this worries me the most as she loves food), she isn't as talkative as she used to be.

I'm really, really worried that she might be in her end days and I'm more than mad that every single doctor we're getting gives us a different possible cause and they don't seem to be able to nail down what's going on, we're getting her to a hospital tomorrow (hopefully) even though we're worried about the strain that getting her transported will cause but it feels like we have no other choice.

I'm posting here cause I don't know where else to go at this point with how unreliable doctors seem to be, the stress and worry might as well be eating me up alive, that's how I feel. Perhaps any of you have/have had elderly relatives that show/showed such symptoms? If you do/did, please share your stories, how it went, maybe some advice if you can. I really need all the help I can get, I don't want to lose my grandmother.

Also to the moderators, I'm sorry if this is the wrong type of post or the wrong place to post it.

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That is frustrating, still I think the best place for a thourough evaluation would be in the ER, where they can do STAT bloodwork repeatedly, to rule out and treat any infection, and get her blood sugar under control.

The easiest way to accomplish this is 911, to have her transported by the experts, and do not allow her to fight you on this, as there is clearly something serious going on here.

Best of luck, I hope you get right on this, as the sooner you get her help, the better! Perhaps asking if Rehab might be the best place for her once things settle down and this immediate issue is under control, to help her to rehab the paralyized side of her body. Some patients are very resistant to PT at home, but in the proper setting, do quite well. At only 65, your Grandmother is still young, and it would be a shame to give up and settle for such deficiencies as left side paraylsis if more could be done about it.
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throwaway Apr 2019
I made the call for the ambulance since my relatives wouldn't do it and my grandmother kept refusing, got tired of hearing them and her push it back for whatever reasons so I went in without asking them, she has been transported to a hospital where she's being monitored, if they fail to come to a conclusion too we're bringing her to Germany since doctors here tend to be better than in Greece. At least her diabetes has stabilized now even if the other stuff has not been explained yet, we're getting results tomorrow. Thank you for your advice, everybody else too.
They did actually come to see her guys, all of the doctors. That's how we got medicine and treatment, as I said in my post, you can't get that stuff without prescriptions. She did tests as well, which showed that her blood sugar was high. Besides a nurse is visiting her everyday for one of her medications. Yet none of them suggested we take her to the hospital asap.

Which adds more against my word, that being constantly telling my relatives to take her to a hospital asap, the doctors are not treating this as an emergency, which is also why I'm pointing out that they are not being helpful when four different doctors are giving four different diagnoses. :(
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Midkid58 Apr 2019
I re-read your post and I didn't catch in it that drs had actually come to your home. And you didn't say what kind of medications they had given here, just an assumption she was 'talked about' but not dxed.

You really should step up and get her to a hospital. There are far more tests that a visual once over and doing the basics.

However, is her choice is to fight you on this, then there's nothing you can do. If she is simply non-compliant, as sick as she sounds, then tell her you're sorry she's sick and go about your life.

Drs. don't tend to freak out. They probably picked up very quickly that gma does not want to be cared for, hence the in home visits by 4! Drs. I bet they did say she needs more intense care, you or she fought them on it and they left.

I asked my Dr. SIL how many of his patients are non-compliant with treatment and he said "Oh, most of them". And he doesn't get upset, he can't. He has too many patients and too much to do.

Not to be a total downer, but if Gma dies under your care b/c you refused to take her to get better care, you can be charged with elder abuse/neglect. It's a stretch, but it could happen.

BTW, what is she so afraid of? The drs could prescribe something to calm her down so she could tolerate the stress of being in a hospital, if it's anxiety.
Yoour grandma might be in septic shock, based on your description. Please call 911.
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I was going to say what midkid said. Also you are calling doctors. Have any of them been out to SEE her? You cannot call and expect a proper diagnosis over the phone for something like this! Especially if these doctors are not familiar with her. This is the fault of her caregivers. Why don’t they call 911?????????
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You absolutely HAVE to take grandmom to the ER.

Don't blame the drs. They are trying to treat someone based on a description of what's going on. They are not at all to blame--whomever is in charge of her care is the responsible person!!!

Wait much longer and the transport will be a mortician. She sounds supremely sick...and you're putting this off another day?

Again--this is in no WAY SHAPE OR FORM and Drs. fault. It's entirely on her caregivers.

Too bad she doesn't like to be order to do any tests, make ANY kind of eval, she has to be SEEN. Why is transporting her such a difficulty?

I hope she is ok.

(Sorry I come off a little hot. 2 of my kids are drs and this kind of thing makes them crazy!!! They cannot help someone they cannot SEE. They are constantly asked for free advice and when they are unable to make a dx based on 'hearsay' and someone gets sicker, they get blamed.)
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