My aunt and uncle are caring for my elderly grandma and grandpa. What or who should I contact for help?

Marine39: Contact APS. However, you're going to need proof of this suspected elder abuse before doing so.

If you have PROOF of elder abuse you need to call APS.

You cannot keep someone alive by makingthem eat. Your grandfather's body might be done with eating.

You need to realize how much it cost to care for someone 24/7. And aide could cost $20 an hour. At 24 hrs a day that equals $480 a day. $3360 a week, $174,720 a year. And thats for one client. Your Aunt and Uncle are caring for two. If your grands have money, don't you think they should be getting paid? Did they give up jobs to help grands? If retired, aren't they entitled to have livesvof their own, but they are caring for grands. I bet what they get in return when grands pass will not equal what grands would have paid privately to stay in their homes.

It would be normal for a 103 y/o to either stop eating or to take in little nourishment.
Look up on the internet "elderly and food intake".
I know that you know that a 103 y/o will not live forever no matter his intake of food. It is normal for the very elderly to sleep almost all the time, and to take in little nourishment. In fact some live so long that they return to an almost fetal position without the ability to speak or to swallow nourishment.

Ask APS to investigate your allegations if you have PROOF of neglect.
This cannot be a matter of your "opinion" only.

It would be normal for the caregiver giving years of care to a parent to be the primary beneficiary of the will and to be POA and on all accounts as same. This is, imho, as it should be.
They DO need to keep records of expenditures, and APS can ask to see those records or ask that the court examine them. They need not show any to YOU, personally however. And as POA should NOT be sharing legal and financial things with you.

If APS decides that you either:
A) have insufficient information indicating abuse
or
B) they have looked in and see no reason to investigate further for abuse

Then I am afraid you are down to being a loving and supportive granddaughter who visits Gma and Gpa.

In most states the living spouse is legally entitled assets and property. Even if aunt is beneficiary at the bank (not sure what you mean by that) and named in the will, the spouse cannot just be cut out and left destitute.

I am with Geaton, I would not care for anyone without having POAs in place. Are there other children? If so, they should be complaining. If Aunt and Uncle are it, then they are going about making sure everything is in place. POAs are tools that are very much needed at your GPs ages. Being a beneficiary on bank accts saves the accts from Probate. And an updated Will is a good thing. Maybe to care for Grandmom and Granddad, a deal was made that your Aunt and Uncle would inherit everything. Caregiving is hard and especially when there are two people to care for. Its a 24/7 job.

Your a grandchild and really not entitled to an inheritance from your grandparents if thats what ur looking for. My grands are not even in my Will. I am leaving what I have to my daughters.

I'm guessing that grandpa doesn't want to eat anymore because he's 103 freaking years old.

Honestly, I told my Mom that I wouldn't participate in her care if she didn't give me the legal authority to do so. I'd already been thru that scenario with my stupid stepFIL and it was way more work than it needed to be. Because he refused to assign a PoA he wound up becoming a ward of a court-appointed guardian. Is this what you want for your Grandparents?

I'm also PoA for my 104-yr old Aunt. Every letter she gets from the bank sends her into a tailspin and I have to re-earn her trust so she understands what I'm doing on her behalf. Please consider that your Grandparents are not interpreting the situation correctly. If the only source of your info is your Grandparents I would take it with a grain os salt. No one can be forced to change their Will and have it still be legal. I don't think a FPoA can change someone's beneficiaries...

If you're so certain your Grandparents are being financially abused then take your actual evidence to an elder law attoreny who will determine if you have a winnable case. You will have to pay for this yourself. If you lose you still have to pay the lawyer. There is no other recourse.

Your Grandparents assets are now supposed to be spent on their care, even if its coming from family members who may be sacricing a lot of their daily lives to take care of 2 very needy people. Medicaid will cover them if they run out.

I have no idea what you can do in this situation. I understand that you are concerned about your grandparents but you are not their POA.

How did they force your grandparents to sign the POA agreement?

Does your grandmother or grandfather have dementia? Did they understand what they were signing? Do your grandparents live in their house?

Why do you suspect abuse? At 103, your grandfather may be losing his appetite and this is why he isn’t eating. Older people do not eat as much as when they were younger.

What do you want for your grandparents? Do you feel they should be placed in a facility to receive the best care?

Do you feel that APS should be called to look into this matter?

How long have your aunt and uncle been caring for your grandparents? Have you always been concerned about them as caregivers? Is this your aunt or uncle’s parents?

Do they plan to continue to care for them or will they place them in a facility at some point in time?

Please share more details with us.