She broke her hip in early April and it is now healed, but her mild dementia really progressed after surgery. And although the hip is healed but she got 2 additional compression fractures in her back from 2 falls since the surgery (ugh don't ask I am so mad at the hospital and skilled nursing place). She is not back to walking on her own.
Today her medicare OT and PT ended because she is no longer making progress. The OT just talked to her..like ok...you've made great progress..now you are done with OT..good job! My mom then got the idea that she was "finished" and could go back to her independent living apartment. She can barely walk with a walker has to have a caregiver right by her. She is not independently going to the bathroom or doing much of anything independently. Sometimes we need to spoon feed her She cannot take care of her meds either. She can barely put together 6 meaningful words.
But holy cow, when she thought she was done and could now go home to her independent living apartment she gave a long speech as well as she could about she is now making a choice to go home...thank you all for all you've done but I want more space and back to my home and all my clothes etc...and all you people to go away so I can do what what I want to do all day without people telling me what to do....you get the picture. She started ordering the staff and her caregiver out of the room and went from telling the staff off in a very rude way to crying saying how much they had done for her but now she wants to go home.
We absolutely cannot afford to have a 24/7 caregiver for her in the independent living part of this very expensive retirement community so that is out. Her dementia is too progressed and she does not have enough mobility to be in assisted living so that is out. She just wants to go "home" and have things the way they were before her hip break but that is never going to happen.
I don't know how to handle this with her...namely...we are going to be giving notice on her independent living apt and setting her up permanently in the skilled nursing or moving her to a nursing home. When we wouldn't take her to her independent living apt she cried for the rest of the day. It was AWFUL!!!
And I don't know what to do about that sudden very rude talking to her caregiver. I know it is the dementia but I hate this. We have had a 24/7 caregiver since the skilled nursing place let her fall while she healed. Now the caregiver will be phased out soon. It's very upsetting this behavior. Do I need to apologize to the staff for my mom's behavior?
I don't know how to get it through to her that her apartment is going away soon and a skilled nursing setting is where she will be. She cries all the time on and off because on some level I think she understands this. The pain seems to be under control but her dementia is taking over. Sometimes I think she does better when I'm not there. I just don't know how to handle all of this. I know she wants to go "home" but she can no longer be there on her own. I keep telling her that her room in the skilled nursing is her new home but she thinks she is in a hospital and will be going "home" and SHOULD be going home RIGHT NOW! She bounces between crying and being really really mad!!! Sigh. This is just heartbreaking with more heartbreaks on the way.