My Mother suffered from a heart attack 2 months ago. She immediately needed a quadruple bypass and a pacemaker. After the bypass surgery, my Mother fell into a coma for 9 days. When she finally awakened, she new the family but could not talk or communicate very well. She was also on a breathing tube for 13 days due to her 40 years of smoking. To make a long story short, my Mother now lives with my husband, my daughter-20, and me. She has always been independent, living alone in her own home after her husband passed away 1 1/2 yrs ago. I have an older brother who suffers from mental illness and is not able to help. Anyway, it has been 2 weeks since my Mom has been home with us and it has been the hardest time of my life. I love her dearly but it has been a challenge to keep peace with my Mom. She doesn't like taking advice from me nor does she embrace my suggestions. She wants to move out already but she has been very forgetful and I am very concerned about her living alone. I have ready many of the discussions posted and they have been very helpful. I just want to have peace in our lives? Is that possible?

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It doesn't sound like it's going to work to keep your mom with you long term. If it's any comfort, that is very common. You love her very much, but she resents her lack of independence and is taking it out on you.

Of course, it's understandable that she resents what has happened, but you'll need to look for options. You can look on your state Web site under aging services. The Family Caregiver Support Program generally has some respite care available and is there in some version in each state. It's federally funded. They also have people who may be able to help you find the right living environment for your mom.

Good luck. This is a tough time. We all know it, so please keep coming back to chat. We want to know how you are doing.
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