My mother is very demanding with her care. She is nasty to staff, causes problems and keeps getting kick out of places due to this. She is "actively dying" but really shows not to be. Running out of options worried that we might have to place in a state facilty.
Whatever the cause of your mom's outbursts, she needs to be somewhere with personnel trained to deal with such outbursts.
Do you actually have to move your mother? Have you been given notice by her current NH or something like that?
"Difficult" clients/patients are something training addresses, but it's a tricky subject. In what way is your mother nasty to staff? What problems is she causing?
If you can have the UTI treated properly, and have her kept clean, her behaviors may improve. imo.
Was she always difficult, or does she have a mental illness? There is treatment for that. Have her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. MS also has a high correlation with behavior issues (no offense to MS patients who do not have this). Not an expert.
Not sure that in a NH an outside caregiver can come in. But if your Mom did have a part-time caregiver, the focus on behaviors, a companion may help her feel supported.
I would go so far as to ask the doctor to order an infection control nurse to visit your Mom, concerning the constant UTI's. Then monitor to be sure the UTI's are cleared.
Contact the NH Ombudsman, bringing up the UTI's as a behavior issue.
The NH could be held accountable for this. imo. It may delay her discharge.
It is the NH responsibility to get her an appropriate discharge or transfer, imo.
Be strong, as an advocate for your Mom. Is there a Social Worker on her case?