We have been married 8 years!
He is a very verbally abusive person !
He has pushed me up against a wall and said he would mess me up!
It is all about himself!
I resent having to take care of him because of the way he has treated me!
I was planning on leaving him or thinking about leaving him before he was diagnosed!
he never stopped being verbally abusive to her and everyone else too. But, never again raised a hand to her.
as to you question, yeah, I think you can see why NH do not accept or keep these patients. Even memory care will not keep them once they turn violent. The Father of a dear friend ended with being tied down. At the end, she and her sister signed a do not treat. Next time he got pneumonia he died. She was a nurse, and told me that the violence is the usual end of Alzheimer’s....and withholding treatment the usual end.
You matter. You have options. One option is call the police, Baker Act him, let doctors medicate him, and let the case manager/social worker at the hospital find a long term care bed and apply for emergency Medicaid for him.
And please read some books about self compassion. Authors to look at include Tara Brach, Kristin Neff, Mike Robbins, and Mark Manson.
It's bound to be a question: on your profile you say that your 81 year old husband, to whom you have been married for eight years, has always been verbally abusive. So... what made you want to marry him? And what has stopped you leaving him?
Does your husband have any other family or other social networks? What are his care needs?