Memory care and sharing a room with another resident. Has anyone had to move their LO into this situation?

Yes, my mom shared a room with a couple roommates (one at a time). My mom was hard of hearing, so she had to have her tv louder, but this wasn’t a problem to either. It potentially could’ve been though.

One problem was that one of the residents would yell about random stuff that didn’t really make sense and could be unsettling to my mom. She ended up getting used to it and ignoring it.

For privacy, we strategically placed a dresser with her tv and photos of all of her family to where it doubled as a room divider. This really helped mom (and us) feel like she had her own space.

I usually washed all of mom’s clothes myself, but markered her name onto all her labels in case they beat me to it.

Ultimately I liked mom having a roommate because they’d alert the staff if the other had an issue. Also they didn’t feel so isolated and alone.

God bless.

I struggled with the same worry five months ago. My mother had always been very independent and feisty. She was grieving the loss of her husband of 57 years while experiencing the beginning stages of memory loss. I was sure that sharing a room would not go well. Yet, we could not afford a private room anymore, and she moved in with S. Wow was I surprised at the difference it made to my mother’s mental health and attitude. She stopped crying, wringing her hands and calling me every day to tell me she wanted to give up and die. She started laughing, joining activities, crocheting and socializing when the others. I was the best thing for her. I hope it works out well for your loved one too.

We moved my MIL in with a roommate. MIL was able to meet her roommate prior to moving in and smiled. The memory care facility was like a match making service. Called it like a dorm room. We were lucky. Neither of them ever liked watching TV in their room and neither owned a TV. That is what the family room is for.

after a while all 26 of the memory care residents are no longer strangers. They are friends and family members.

Yes. Mom’s first MC roommate did not work out very well. The roommate almost always had her TV on very loudly. Mom gets easily overwhelmed by too much noise, and so would leave the main room during certain activity sessions. She could not go to her room to rest due to the loud TV. So we worked with the staff such that when a bed became available with a quieter roommate they moved mom there. She had about a week of confusion/upset over another move, but then settled in nicely and was much happier. In MC the staff seem to be much more attentive and skilled at re-directing. This helps with any transitions. Wishing you peace and strength on this journey.

Siblings and I had the same situation moving our 98-year old mother from a private room in AL to shared room in memory care. To our surprise, Mom quickly adjusted to the move and became friends with her roommate. It was very touching to hear Mom describe her as being like a mother to her.

There were many lovely residents and staff who became like a second family to Mom. I hope your Aunt will have an easy adjustment to Memory Care living.

Yes, sort of. My MIL is in LTC on Medicaid. She has pretty severe short-term memory loss and refuses to get out of bed and that's why she's in LTC and not MC. Her roommates are usually sicker than she so they tend to pass. She's had one who was in end-stage dementia (or ALZ) and was basically non-verbal and immobile. She had another who had a stroke but wheeled herself around in a wheelchair and was gone from her from the room all day, every day. Then, the facility moved my MIL and she got another roommate but then covid came and we never met this one. My MIL got covid and was in a makeshift covid wing of the facility for almost a month. She just got cleared to go back to her room. Today in MN they passed legislature to allow people to visit their LOs in facilities as long as it is outside and they social distance, so we are very eager to go see her. Not sure what's going to happen in MN in the 6 colder months...no personal visits? Really?

My MIL was never overjoyed with her roommates. But this is the woman who refuses to get out of bed and has a bad memory, so not sure her opinion is accurate. If your LO tells you any stories of bad behaviors you will need to follow-up on them as best as possible. The stories may or may not be true.

Moved my mom from Assisted Living private room to MenorybCare private room. She asked multiple times if she could live with someone. At first I thought she meant outside facility. Finally I figured out she wanted roommate. I say this to you, so you go into the situation with hope.

Yes we did. My fil (93) had cancer and lost use of legs and tumors growing too fast for any type of treatment. He was placed by hospital in nursing home as mil was not able to care for him. He had roommate that watched tv 24/7 as he was blind so left tv on all time. What a mess that was cause fil only turned tv on for a few hours a day. Good luck but sometimes you don’t have choice of roommates

My mother never realized there was another person in her room. With Alzheimers, it seems things like that diminishes, at least I found that to be true.

My mom was always in the main room, where the TV and all the memory residents mingled. The aides controlled the programs, which were usually videos they put in that were fun. It seemed that most enjoyed being around others, even if they didn't say anything. No one had their own tv.

Just an update. My Aunt has a video visit with a Dr from Kaiser Memory Care Clinic on the 7th. We need a diagnosis of dementia not just MCI this time.
After talking to several people at her ALF we decided to try the shared room. Not my first choice, but because her ALF is private pay only , she likes the people and the food and the fact that she will run out of money in aprox 5 years in a private room I have to give it a go. She still adamantly refuses to leave her son!! She doesn't remember that he's in a homeless shelter, but she remembers that she still close to where he is. Ugh!
I need all the prayers I can get for my Aunt to settle in and be content.
Thank you all for your support!!