Looks like I am gonna have to move my Aunt from her private room in assisted living to memory care.
There is the possibility that my Aunt will have to be in a shared room with a complete stranger.
Wondering if anyone has had the same situation and if so, how did your LO handle it??

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Yes, my mom shared a room with a couple roommates (one at a time). My mom was hard of hearing, so she had to have her tv louder, but this wasn’t a problem to either. It potentially could’ve been though.

One problem was that one of the residents would yell about random stuff that didn’t really make sense and could be unsettling to my mom. She ended up getting used to it and ignoring it.

For privacy, we strategically placed a dresser with her tv and photos of all of her family to where it doubled as a room divider. This really helped mom (and us) feel like she had her own space.

I usually washed all of mom’s clothes myself, but markered her name onto all her labels in case they beat me to it.

Ultimately I liked mom having a roommate because they’d alert the staff if the other had an issue. Also they didn’t feel so isolated and alone.

God bless.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to agingcareuser

We moved my MIL in with a roommate. MIL was able to meet her roommate prior to moving in and smiled. The memory care facility was like a match making service. Called it like a dorm room. We were lucky. Neither of them ever liked watching TV in their room and neither owned a TV. That is what the family room is for.

after a while all 26 of the memory care residents are no longer strangers. They are friends and family members.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Jarsting

I struggled with the same worry five months ago. My mother had always been very independent and feisty. She was grieving the loss of her husband of 57 years while experiencing the beginning stages of memory loss. I was sure that sharing a room would not go well. Yet, we could not afford a private room anymore, and she moved in with S. Wow was I surprised at the difference it made to my mother’s mental health and attitude. She stopped crying, wringing her hands and calling me every day to tell me she wanted to give up and die. She started laughing, joining activities, crocheting and socializing when the others. I was the best thing for her. I hope it works out well for your loved one too.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Pr0f3ss0r
xrayjodib Jun 20, 2020
That's so good to hear!
My Uncle passed in October. They were married 63 years!
Yes. Mom’s first MC roommate did not work out very well. The roommate almost always had her TV on very loudly. Mom gets easily overwhelmed by too much noise, and so would leave the main room during certain activity sessions. She could not go to her room to rest due to the loud TV. So we worked with the staff such that when a bed became available with a quieter roommate they moved mom there. She had about a week of confusion/upset over another move, but then settled in nicely and was much happier. In MC the staff seem to be much more attentive and skilled at re-directing. This helps with any transitions. Wishing you peace and strength on this journey.
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Reply to MelissaPA2AZ

Siblings and I had the same situation moving our 98-year old mother from a private room in AL to shared room in memory care. To our surprise, Mom quickly adjusted to the move and became friends with her roommate. It was very touching to hear Mom describe her as being like a mother to her.

There were many lovely residents and staff who became like a second family to Mom. I hope your Aunt will have an easy adjustment to Memory Care living.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Linzy6

Yes, sort of. My MIL is in LTC on Medicaid. She has pretty severe short-term memory loss and refuses to get out of bed and that's why she's in LTC and not MC. Her roommates are usually sicker than she so they tend to pass. She's had one who was in end-stage dementia (or ALZ) and was basically non-verbal and immobile. She had another who had a stroke but wheeled herself around in a wheelchair and was gone from her from the room all day, every day. Then, the facility moved my MIL and she got another roommate but then covid came and we never met this one. My MIL got covid and was in a makeshift covid wing of the facility for almost a month. She just got cleared to go back to her room. Today in MN they passed legislature to allow people to visit their LOs in facilities as long as it is outside and they social distance, so we are very eager to go see her. Not sure what's going to happen in MN in the 6 colder personal visits? Really?

My MIL was never overjoyed with her roommates. But this is the woman who refuses to get out of bed and has a bad memory, so not sure her opinion is accurate. If your LO tells you any stories of bad behaviors you will need to follow-up on them as best as possible. The stories may or may not be true.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Geaton777
xrayjodib Jun 19, 2020
Thanks Geaton!
And I just realized I left the care off of memory care! Lol
Moved my mom from Assisted Living private room to MenorybCare private room. She asked multiple times if she could live with someone. At first I thought she meant outside facility. Finally I figured out she wanted roommate. I say this to you, so you go into the situation with hope.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Mjlarkan

Yes we did. My fil (93) had cancer and lost use of legs and tumors growing too fast for any type of treatment. He was placed by hospital in nursing home as mil was not able to care for him. He had roommate that watched tv 24/7 as he was blind so left tv on all time. What a mess that was cause fil only turned tv on for a few hours a day. Good luck but sometimes you don’t have choice of roommates
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Buffytwmo49

My mother never realized there was another person in her room. With Alzheimers, it seems things like that diminishes, at least I found that to be true.

My mom was always in the main room, where the TV and all the memory residents mingled. The aides controlled the programs, which were usually videos they put in that were fun. It seemed that most enjoyed being around others, even if they didn't say anything. No one had their own tv.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Marylepete

Imho, the dynamic of a shared room may not work out as every individual is different. My own late mother never understood the differences in people when she was in a facility, e.g. in her case a few times, a shared hospital room. One time in particular I had to tell her to stop talking in such a fashion as the person was from a different culture. I told her several times that the nurse yelled at me! Another individual in the shared room did not utter one word and my mother was a VERY social person.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Llamalover47

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