Mom thinks I'm working on plans to move her to a different facility, but I'm not. What do I tell her?


Mom's been in the MC unit of an AL facility for 6 weeks. We looked at 2 different facilities together - both very similar in reputation, cost, cleanliness, amenities - before we chose the one she's currently living in. Unfortunately, she's been terribly unhappy since moving. She wants to go home, but realizes that is not going to happen. So she has now decided she wants to move to the other facility. She believes it will have better staff, better rooms, better food, etc. I've been ignoring or redirecting the conversation every time she brings this up, but based on her phone messages for the last couple days, she thinks I'm talking to the other facility and picking out her new room! She's excited and can't wait for the big move. Should I tell her the truth - that I have no intention of moving her, or should I make up a story and tell her nothing is available? I'm afraid if I avoid the truth, she'll never let the issue go. But I'm also afraid of how much the truth will disappoint her.

Find Care & Housing


Many people take more than 6 weeks to settle in to a care center of any kind. Hang in there a while longer! I'd tell her she is on a waiting list for the other place.

Have you discussed how she is settling in with the activities direct and/or the head nurse in MC? Do they have any suggestions for helping that process along?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to jeannegibbs

Going through this with my father. He picked the place he is at and I made it very clear this was it. A year and a half later he wants to move. I have been putting him off for months. Finally I researched two places and scheduled tours only to have him fall the night before and spend three weeks in rehab. He too insisted that a new place would be 'better'. He tries to con me by saying it is to save money. He has a beautiful place now and would get a lot less for the same money. Last time I spoke with him he has decided to stay and he is back on his other fixation...that I take him for a cup of coffee at his old coffee shop. There is absolutely no way I am blowing a vacation day for that.

I find they fixate on something and will not let it drop. Well until they find a new thing to fixate on. I'd tell her a white lie and say they were all booked up and you will check back in 3 months to see if anything opened up. My father thought the same thing, once he said "I want to move here" the next day he would move in. The thing that changed for my father is now he needs assistance dressing so he is getting the 'personal' attention he so desperately wants so now all is good.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to lkdrymom