I walk away, but do not know what to expect in the future, or what action to take.......He is under Med. Dr. supervision........advice please, thank you
We see a lot of these kinds of posts here, unfortunately, written by the wife of a husband with ALZ/dementia who's become violent or aggressive or full of anger and nasty temperament who takes it out on his wife. She's afraid, doesn't know what to do, and life becomes a nightmare.
If this scenario describes YOUR life, you really only have one choice, and that's to place your husband in a Memory Care Assisted Living residence. Even though it's 'not his fault', he's still angry, full of temper and frightening YOU. And that's not how YOU should be living YOUR life. Right? If he was acting this way and NOT sick, you'd kick him out. But he's sick, so lots & lots & lots of excuses are made for why it's okay and why you should tolerate horrible behavior for way way WAY longer than it would ever be tolerated had disease not been present.
What I'm saying is the God's honest truth.
Speak to his doctor. Everyone here is always talking about "UTI" infections. Providing he DOES NOT have a UTI going on, ask his doctor to UP his medications to calm him down. See if that works. If it doesn't, get him placed. Go back to being a wife instead of a caregiver in fear for her life. Go visit him and leave when he gets angry. Bring him small gifts and the beauty of your time and love. That's all you CAN do at this point.
Know that it IS enough. When disease is at play, we have to take action. If he was having a heart attack, you'd call 911 to take him to the hospital for acute care.
He's having dementia attacks; you place him into managed care for long term help with his day to day care. It makes perfect sense on all levels.
If everything checks out , no UTI it can be one of the symptoms of dementia. Some people do get violent. You have to remember 1 thing. If you EVER feel in danger you MUST call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you are afraid for your safety. Explain the situation that the person threatening you has dementia. You then ask for transport to the hospital. It might also be a good idea at this point to discuss if discharging him back to the home is safe. For you or for him. If there are ANY weapons in the house REMOVE them don't just lock them up remove them.
I would also lock up any kitchen knives. They can be placed in a cabinet that you lock. (there are magnetic locks that are placed inside the cabinet that are not visible)
It is common for dementia patients to have temper issues. I agree with AlveDeer to check for a UTI first if this seems like a sudden onset of behavior change.
This article was just reposted in the Discussions section of this form by cxmoody. I was just reading it and coincidentally had just come upon the mention of explosive anger, which clinically they called a "catastrophic reaction". It's not a long read, so maybe it will help you.
Check for Urinary Tract Infection first of all. Especially as this is sudden and instant in your words. If this is not the problem you will need to have transport to hospital for evaluation in Med-psyc unit. He may require placement in order to protect both himself and you and others. Get in touch with Social Worker at once when hospitalized and tell her/him that it is unlikely he can return home to you; you cannot live in fear.
If this scenario describes YOUR life, you really only have one choice, and that's to place your husband in a Memory Care Assisted Living residence. Even though it's 'not his fault', he's still angry, full of temper and frightening YOU. And that's not how YOU should be living YOUR life. Right? If he was acting this way and NOT sick, you'd kick him out. But he's sick, so lots & lots & lots of excuses are made for why it's okay and why you should tolerate horrible behavior for way way WAY longer than it would ever be tolerated had disease not been present.
What I'm saying is the God's honest truth.
Speak to his doctor. Everyone here is always talking about "UTI" infections. Providing he DOES NOT have a UTI going on, ask his doctor to UP his medications to calm him down. See if that works. If it doesn't, get him placed. Go back to being a wife instead of a caregiver in fear for her life. Go visit him and leave when he gets angry. Bring him small gifts and the beauty of your time and love. That's all you CAN do at this point.
Know that it IS enough. When disease is at play, we have to take action. If he was having a heart attack, you'd call 911 to take him to the hospital for acute care.
He's having dementia attacks; you place him into managed care for long term help with his day to day care. It makes perfect sense on all levels.
Best of luck.
You have to remember 1 thing.
If you EVER feel in danger you MUST call 911 and tell the dispatcher that you are afraid for your safety. Explain the situation that the person threatening you has dementia.
You then ask for transport to the hospital.
It might also be a good idea at this point to discuss if discharging him back to the home is safe. For you or for him.
If there are ANY weapons in the house REMOVE them don't just lock them up remove them.
I would also lock up any kitchen knives. They can be placed in a cabinet that you lock. (there are magnetic locks that are placed inside the cabinet that are not visible)
This article was just reposted in the Discussions section of this form by cxmoody. I was just reading it and coincidentally had just come upon the mention of explosive anger, which clinically they called a "catastrophic reaction". It's not a long read, so maybe it will help you.
https://tinyurl.com/rhkmos9t