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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Yes, I can imagine that is very difficult. Only you can make the decision about when it is time to accept that mother needs a level of care that has several shifts with several people on each shift. As you will know, there is no cure for end stage dementia symptoms. Your mom will likely never again understand who you are. The only "good thing" about this (and of course there ARE no good things about it) is that placement in care now will make quite honestly little difference to your mother at this stage of her dementia. I am so sorry. This is so tragic for all, and so difficult to deal with.
Is mom living with you..or you with her? Or is she in a facility? Even though she may not "know" you she does know that you are a person she trusts, a person she can count on being there and being kind to her. you are a "safe person"
The fact that her not knowing you is difficult for you I am going to take that to mean that she was/is a good mom and you had / have a good relationship with her. For that you are lucky, not everyone has that. So while she may not know YOU the important thing is YOU know HER. When you get a chance to sit with her talk to her just as you would have 10, 20 years ago. You never know what just might make it through and touch her.
When my mother didn't know me anymore, I cut down on my visits to her. She was in her home with a paid 24/7 caregiver. Instead of non-visiting, which every visit with her was by then, I got to work cleaning out her attic, her garage, going through paperwork, cleaning out drawers, home repair, hauling to the dump or thrift store, and all the other things that needed doing.
That way I could be useful and help her in ways that were necessary. There was no need to sit and watch her fold her shirt hem for an hour when she wasn't aware of anything, much less me.
Of course, I always spoke to her for a bit when I arrived and left. Sometimes she never even looked at me.
You get used to it, but it's best not to hope for much.
It is so disheartening. I guess we have to come at it from another perspective, such as Mom is getting to know me as the wonderful lady who takes care of her. Sometimes YouTube videos are very helpful. Try various searches, “dementia doesn't recognize me” brought up a lot of good ones. I particularly like Dementia Careblazers, Answers about Alzheimers, Dementia with Grace.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Only you can make the decision about when it is time to accept that mother needs a level of care that has several shifts with several people on each shift.
As you will know, there is no cure for end stage dementia symptoms. Your mom will likely never again understand who you are. The only "good thing" about this (and of course there ARE no good things about it) is that placement in care now will make quite honestly little difference to your mother at this stage of her dementia.
I am so sorry. This is so tragic for all, and so difficult to deal with.
Even though she may not "know" you she does know that you are a person she trusts, a person she can count on being there and being kind to her. you are a "safe person"
The fact that her not knowing you is difficult for you I am going to take that to mean that she was/is a good mom and you had / have a good relationship with her. For that you are lucky, not everyone has that.
So while she may not know YOU the important thing is YOU know HER.
When you get a chance to sit with her talk to her just as you would have 10, 20 years ago. You never know what just might make it through and touch her.
That way I could be useful and help her in ways that were necessary. There was no need to sit and watch her fold her shirt hem for an hour when she wasn't aware of anything, much less me.
Of course, I always spoke to her for a bit when I arrived and left. Sometimes she never even looked at me.
You get used to it, but it's best not to hope for much.
Sometimes YouTube videos are very helpful. Try various searches, “dementia doesn't recognize me” brought up a lot of good ones. I particularly like Dementia Careblazers, Answers about Alzheimers, Dementia with Grace.