I need help to select a male urinary incontinence device.

My husband was paralyzed on his right side, and suffered greatly with incontinence as he developed vascular dementia. He tried all the bladder control medications, had Botox put in his bladder, and of course wore Depends along with a pad in them. None of that helped, and he was getting up every hour on the hour to have to pee, which meant that I too was getting up to help him, and neither of us got any sleep for many months.
Finally his urologist suggested that he have a supra pubic(permanent)catheter put in, which he did, and we both finally got to sleep though the night and I only had to empty his catheter bag twice a day. For us it was a Godsend. You may want to talk to his urologist to see what options he/she would recommend for your father.
Best wishes.

I found this product that wraps around the penis and goes inside a diaper/pull up called quick change wraps. It’s like a cone around it that absorbed the urine. They really made a difference for my dad in keeping him dry.
They hold a lot of urine and you can change them easily - even while the person is sitting or lying without fully undressing. They have been super helpful and even work for a retracted penis. They are a bit pricey but have been worth it, particularly when we’ve taken him out for doctors appointments or long car rides. You’ll find them if you Google quick change male incontinence wraps.

The condom catheters do not require "firmness" to securely be affixed.
There are other products other than pads that might work. The incontinence briefs there are many types, companies that make them and they are of varying degrees of absorbency. Many companies will send out samples so you can try different ones and select the one that works the best.