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Finally got mom to the hospital and its been an uphill battle. Long story short is we cannot care for her at home anymore and the hospital is insisting she be released to our custody. I have tried reaching out to the social worker and unfortunately we keep missing each others phone calls but there is no way she can be released at least to our care. I know when this all COVID started they were accepting patients just made them quarantine for 14 days but now it seems like they are refusing new patients unless this is just in our local area... I am at my wits end on what to do next and about to lose my job trying to figure it out. Any suggestions?

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I am a social worker in a hospital and they cannot charge you with neglect for saying you can't take care of her and not taking her home. They can charge you with neglect of if you take her home and then don't take care of her. Placement in a SNF is difficult these days and they will likely have to search outside of your preferred area in order to find her a home.

Just be honest with the social worker and tell her you can't take care of mom at home, she is obligated to find a safe place for mom to go. You will need to give permission for her to basically 'blanket' your state with referrals to nursing home so that a place can be found. Right now your mom is taking up a hospital bed that is likely needed by people with more severe health problems than needing supervision or SNF placement. We are short beds and staff and getting overloaded with Covid patients.

We have had a lot of families basically using the hospital as a dumping ground for their parents when they can no longer take care of them at home. Many times, there is nothing medically wrong with these people, they just need to go to a nursing home and instead of families working on this themselves, they just leave the people at the hospital and say 'I can't take there of them'. It's very frustrating because then we end up with someone in the hospital for several weeks that really doesn't need to be there, taking up a needed bed, losing money on that bed or person every day as they aren't being medically treated for anything, while we arrange for care that the family could have done on their own.

I care for a parent so I understand the issues and stresses that come along with it but family's could do more legwork on their own when facing this issue instead of just dumping this on the hospital.
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Countrymouse Dec 21, 2020
Families *could* do more legwork, but it is also true that hospital discharge teams know the territory and have a much better chance of getting a result.

And then, so often people just don't know where to begin. Literally do not know what step one is. To be fair, how would they?

"So... what exactly IS a 'package of care'?" said one son who wanted to pick my brains, as he put it.
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In my area no they r not excepting. My GFs DH was diagnosed a few weeks as was my GF. He has Parkinsons so no way she could care for him with her sick too. So he was sent to a NH an hour away.
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Maine127 Dec 19, 2020
Thanks I guess it is what it is at this point. I am just so sick of arguing with everyone. I have stopped answering the phone when the hospital calls because they say the same thing each time they call and I really feel the social worker should be of more assistance than she is. I understand the COIVD has thrown everyone for a loop but at the same time people still need care......
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Thank you for your input.......I have a feeling this is going to be a battle as I heard from the hospital and they are now saying they will have me charged with neglect if I refuse to take her back.......I don't see how that is possible since we are looking at getting her better care than we can give her but it seems like no one wants to hear that.........
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DianaF Dec 19, 2020
I do not think that they can have you charged with neglect for refusing to take her back because you cannot give her the care she needs at home, that sounds like a nasty threat they should not be making, shame on them.
Do you think it's a situation where you could have her at home if she had an aide to help some of the time, especially if you have to work? You should not have to lose your job over this.
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They will continue to do ALL IN THEIR POWER to get you to accept your mother home so that this "problem" is off their plates and back on to your own. They will promise you virtually anything, telling you that they can get you help and that together you can make this work. They cannot and will not. Do not accept your Mom home. Tell them that it is now impossible for you either mentally or physically to safely care for her in your home. Tell them that you have no choice in refusing to accept her home. They will find placement. Will it be easy? No. Will it be the perfect place? No. That's unlikely in these times. But they WILL find placement.
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