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I read about the sundowner syndrome, but how do I cope with it? ALWAYS the same things over and over again. Sometimes I try to change the subject but it does not always work. I do not know if he really understand what I am saying because he's asking things over and over again. Like where is the toilet ect. He is wearing disposible nappies and still want to go to the toilet. He then wet the toilet all over when I do not see him going there. Since yesterday he has weakened so much, that he mostly can not get up from a chair by himself. Even when he lay in bed, I have to pull him up from a lying position. It is hard for me because I have a bad back, knees and thumbs. When we had our pudding in the TV room yesterday, he sat on the small sofa, he slowly tipped over on his side and was lying there with his bowl in his hand. He could not get up into a sitting position on his own anymore. It is so sad! I used to take care of his parents since I was 25 years of age, and after they passed away - after 18 years of caregiving - at the ages of 88 (FIL) and 85 (MIL), I took care after my own Mom. Now I am taking care of him. He is 72 years and had a few small strokes and then developed Alz/Dimentia. I am 62 years now. I am alone and we do not have any children. It is so difficult for me to cope with this all.

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If there are repeated inquiries about where toilets and closets are, perhaps a procedure I saw in Memory care facilities will help. On the entrance to the bathroom, a large sign with the heading Bathroom was posted. It included an image of a toilet bowl/sink. On the closet was a sign that said Mary's Closet. Etc. Since short term memory is an issue, the questions will be repeated. The signs won't work the first day but may help in the long run. Good l;uck
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Benita, the agitation and repeated can be quite stressful for the patient and you. I was able to tolerate it better when my cousin was doing it than others in my family, but it is very challenging. I would set my goal to be that I would respond as patiently the 100th time I answered the question as I did the first time. I tried to keep it low key. I also tried to redirect so that if she asked me 10 times where the cat was, I would try to change the subject and ask her to show me how she could touch her toes. I would try to switch the conversation every time she would start repeating, which was almost constantly.

Gradually, she stopped repeating things as much. That has been a blessing. I'm not sure if it was going to happen anyway or if the medication that she takes helps with it. She went onto Cymbalta and she is much more content and does not do the repetitive behavior as she did before. I would consult with your husband's doctor about it.
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This website has a lot of good articles... I found one on Sundowners that I hope can give you more information about coping.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/sundowners-syndrome-133187.htm
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