New to this site and really lost on what to do. My mother who is 80 yrs, had spleen removed 2 years ago. She is very headstrong.The doctor told her that getting sick would drag her immune system down and they would not be able to help her. She sits in her home day in and out. We cannot get her to leave but only to ride around for short time. Everyone is afraid to visit because not wanting to make her sick. Her doctor told her to get out and enjoy life, just wear mask, and make good decisions. We know not to take her out in large crowds, etc. I live hour away and my brother closer. I try to go up every other weekend. One day she is up and about and the next, she is telling us her time has come. She hasn't had doc appt in awhile and I think she misses that attention. I told her yesterday I was making her an appt for this week and today she refuses, saying what can they do? All her doctors are over an hour away from her so farther for us but she doesn't want to find any closer. I would like to talk to her doctor but usually she wants to do Telehealth call with us both. I made mistake of telling my mother I think she is depressed only to be yelled at for an hour. My brother and I are at a loss on what to do. I just been praying a lot on it. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
There was no point in saving your mother's life by removing her spleen if she's now choosing to end her life by sequestering herself away in fear like a hermit. If her doctor 'orders' her to take anti depressants as a 'trial run' to see if she feels better, at your urging, perhaps THEN she will choose to start living again, with gratitude instead of fear ruling her life.
It's hard, I know. My DH had a liver transplant in April and is immuno suppressed. The Mayo Clinic told him to LIVE LIFE and that's what he's been doing. Otherwise, what was the purpose in him getting a new liver to begin with?
I hope you can help mom see the light. If not, leave her be to live life the way she sees fit. You don't have to join her in her pity party, however, she can stay alone with that. If she wants to see you and your brother, she'll need to pull on her big girl pants and participate in life now. Sometimes tough love is what's needed with 'headstrong' elders who can't see reality for the life of them!
Best of luck.
I think getting a full check up for her would be first thing on the list then go from there.
In fact, a new set of eyes [new doctor] is sometimes good to see if he/she has other ideas to improve your Mom's health.