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She went to her primary CG, and he did a simple test and she failed. So he referred her to go to a specialist. (Which is in the same BIG office) Mom has cancelled twice, lied, and just will not go. I take off work to get her to these appts, since she has got lost 3 times. Her dr is only 3 miles from her home. I am POA but don't I need a healthcare dr to have something in writing ?


I have 3 siblings. One agrees and wants mom to go to the specialist. One says she doesn't have issues. And the last, well they havent had a relationship in over 20 yrs due to my sister not paying back monies mom loaned her. My mom has cancelled checks in a safe deposit box stating the loans. And now my sister has gotten back into her life in the past 6 months. Mom has gone and purchased 3 rings in the past 3 months or so, over $1000.00 each. Its moms money she can do what she wants to. BUT my sister now has one of those rings on her finger, I dont think its right. She goes over to her house and says she cleans, but she is snooping ?

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Was wondering the same thing about my dad. I dont know whether or not he has dementia. He doesnt want to be examined.

I was thinking maybe i should have his general doc tell him directly to make an appointment.
He might cancel too though.
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Yeah, I am a person who hates to admit defeat too..but a stubborn parent is something else. My mom definitely as a problem but is able to make her own decisions and is able to fool doctors still. My dad, even in LTC, enables her. He told me that she never would do anything until something bad happens, then she will take action. He told me how stubborn she is and that I am basically banging my head against the wall...he should know, they are married 60 years. So I have stepped back completely (after moving her out of my home) and I just have to pray for the best; ie she doesn’t get lost or worse....
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Your sibling who thinks your mom has 'no issues' in spite of the fact that she's failed a simple test AND has gotten lost 3 times puts me in mind of a story. I work in a Memory Care facility as a receptionist. One man insists his mother has NO dementia whatsoever, in spite of the fact that she is one of the worst cases we have residing there. She doesn't speak, can't remember how to eat, and snatches food and other items right out of people's hands to put into her own mouth. Even if it's a hearing aid or a dirty rubber glove. Anyway, the son now insists he wants his mom to learn SIGN LANGUAGE, because that will 'help her get better' from the incurable disease of dementia!!!

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, huh?

I have nothing else to add to the excellent advice Ahmijoy has already given you.

Best of luck!
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I’m not certain what your question is here. Do you want advice on how to get Mom to a neurologist or are you venting about your siblings? It’s your mother’s money and she can do with it as she pleases, including buying jewelry for her daughter. If she has forgiven the loans, she can do that as well no matter if she does have cancelled checks. Your POA doesn’t go into effect until Mom is proven incapable of making her own decisions. Which leads us to getting her to the neurologist. Again, if Mom can make her own decisions, she can decide not to go until she’s good and ready. Have s family meeting and discuss your concerns about your mother. One sib will be on your side so you’ll have some support. You two will have to convince sibling #2 who doesn’t think Mom has issues. Leave your suspicions about sibling #3 out of the discussion. You have no proof and unless you have proof she’s doing more than “snooping” and actually stealing, stay out of it. What she’s doing or not doing at Mom’s house doesn’t involve you.
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lealonnie1 Oct 21, 2019
My thoughts exactly!
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