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My 65 yr old uncle had back to back strokes in 2020. He was placed in a nursing home where they found that he was suffering from dementia. He then became violent and was evicted from the NH. I found a memory care facility that seemed to be perfect for him but after a few months he became combative and violent. He was then transferred to another facility where they stopped giving him seroquel because it was not allowed for dementia patients. He has been at this new facility since September 2021 and now becoming combative and violent again. I was told today that he needs to be moved to a new facility because he has refused his medication for 2 months and they cannot control him. What are my options now seeing that I can't bring him to live with me?

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Combative patients can't be handled in many facilities. Perhaps he needs a short stay in a psychiatric unit for stabilization with medicines. Incidentally, Seroquel is an antipsychotic. Antipsychotics are not recommended for elderly patients, because they may cause strokes. However, there are other medicines that could be tried, Once he becomes manageable, he can go back to the nursing home.
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My family and I are in a similar situation. I wish you all the best.
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Does your uncle have a conservator/guardian who makes his decisions?
If the answer is no, let the facility make him a ward of the state. The state will then have to find him an appropriate facility.
If you are his conservator/guardian, or have his POA, you have to go down to the probate court in the town he lives in and have that removed.
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He needs a short stay in an inpatient psych ward. The staff will get him stabilized on medications to curb his violent tendencies. The violence is an extreme form of anxiety and agitation and can be managed medically. Once he is stabilized, ask social services to help you with his placement into a long term care facility.
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I would ask the facility what they recommend. Obviously, he is not in control of this behavior and needs the right meds to calm him down a little bit. Weird that they're not trying to solve this problem.
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BurntCaregiver Dec 2021
The facility is not trying to solve this problem because they don't want him there. He's difficult and nursing homes do not want difficult residents that cannot be controlled with drugs. They also do not have the security necessary to safely keep violent, psychotic residents.
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