My 80yr old mom (blind) brought a guy home from the VA bar to live in her home as a companion. He is clearly verbally abusive to her, and, being the one to read her mail, has tried to involve himself in her finances - even having her set up a bank account w/ only her name and his on it. When he does anything requiring money, he presents himself as her 'caregiver' but mom says he's her roommate not a caregiver. While there is no direct financial compensation or even a contract, he is living there for free, she's buying his food (actually he takes her money and brings her McDonalds), paying for his car insurance (over $300/mo), he doesn't cook, clean, or do anything one would associate with caregiving. As far as we can tell, he has not physically abused her but he is clearly isolating her from family. He also appears to have a drinking problem.
The problem is my mom will downplay his verbal abuse to her and even lie to defend him, primarily out of fear of being alone but also part of her low self-esteem related to mental illness. One sister has POA and is supposed to oversee all my mom's financials as well as the trust set up to take care of her. Up to this point, it seems she may have been just putting money into mom's account and roommate would use ATM to access it.
Any suggestions? I would like to demand an accounting by roommate/mom for all money spent on a monthly basis, with receipts. BTW - the bills are paid by the POA, including an $800 cable bill one month. I'm also new on the scene as I am adopted and just found my birth family (this situation) and I'm flabbergasted that this has been allowed to happen and continue.