I’m just curious to see the various responses. Obviously, it will vary depending on the relationship & situation. I’m just wondering what others do.
Mom has early-mid dementia and I’ve gotten into a routine of going to visit her in Memory Care weekly on the same day. For about an hour, we just sit in the main room and we talk about weather, food, my pets, etc. It’s kinda awful. I would probably be okay with 10 min visits but she always hates it when I leave and I always feel guilty because I would hate being left there or being in her shoes too!! I would like to visit less often but I worry that I’ll regret not visiting more when she’s gone. It’s a cycle of feeling either guilt, or inconvenienced and resentment, or fear of future guilt! When I ask the nurses if the other residents’ kids come to visit and how often, they say it varies but 1-3 x week for most. We never had the best relationship but I think we both did the best we could. I just find myself dreading the weekly visit because there are so many other things I should (could) be doing to feel productive but I also struggle with just sitting there trying to think of things to say! I’m the only visitor she has. I sometimes take her out to the store or to eat but it’s getting more difficult to do that. She’s always happy to see me but I’m not even sure she would know if I skipped a week. If I could touch base with a phone call instead of a visit, I would but she keeps turning off her phone by accident so an in person visit (25 min drive) is the only option. I work from home so it’s do’able. It’s just starting to feel more like a chore and I hate the guilt of not taking advantage of the remaining time she has since dementia will probably steal her ability to talk at all before we’re prepared.
How often do you visit if you’re in the same town and what do you do during your visit? Do you find it difficult to just sit and do nothing if they aren’t really capable of engaging except for simple conversation?