I just moved my mom out of her AL to a group home with six residents. The move was made because my mom was falling frequently and the AL was not staffed to keep an eye on her at all times. The new group home is 3 minutes from our house, spotlessly clean every time I've been there, and all of the residents appear clean, content and well cared for. The owner and her staff are kind and compassionate and seem to be truly invested in the residents and their well-being. An added benefit is that her cherished little dog can once again live with her. The home was recommended to us by our nextdoor neighbors who had their mother there for several years.
The first couple of days seemed to go well, but the last week and 1/2 has been hellish. My mom started insisting that the staff was abusive, dragging residents around by the hair, fighting with each other and showing her containers of cocaine. She became hyper-vigilant with her tiny lapdog who never leaves her side. She insisted it need to have a leash on literally all the time and acted as if someone was going to steal or hurt the dog. When her sisters were here to visit this weekend she refused to go home, became belligerent and was calling anyone and everyone horrible names etc. Ultimately we had to call EMS and she was removed from our house in restraints. She told the EMS crew that we had her living in a crackhouse. It was unbelievably awful. Thankfully the EMS guys were fantastic. Compassionate, gentle and patient. The hospital did a full medical work-up and pysch eval and determined that it was dementia related and nothing else. They did prescribe seroquel, but so far she has only had one dose and is refusing to take any more. Tonight she escaped the house when the overnight caretaker thought she was asleep in bed. This is the first time she has done something like this ever, and the operator of the home indicated they will have eyes on her all the time now.
This is a long story to get to my question. My mom has never been happy anywhere she has lived, including in her own home. She simply doesn't want to be old, and is in denial about her dementia diagnosis, but these wild and detailed stories are a new development. I really feel like they are delusions or hallucinations, but can something like that carry on for days and weeks at a time and take on a life of its own? She has created a whole story line around the abuses at this group home, but I can find no evidence that they are true. The staff would need to be doing a phenomenal acting job if it's really as Jekyll and Hyde as my mom portrays. However, it's hard to not worry that there is some truth to any of it. Anyone with similar experiences out there who can provide some advice?