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I just moved my mom out of her AL to a group home with six residents. The move was made because my mom was falling frequently and the AL was not staffed to keep an eye on her at all times. The new group home is 3 minutes from our house, spotlessly clean every time I've been there, and all of the residents appear clean, content and well cared for. The owner and her staff are kind and compassionate and seem to be truly invested in the residents and their well-being. An added benefit is that her cherished little dog can once again live with her. The home was recommended to us by our nextdoor neighbors who had their mother there for several years.
The first couple of days seemed to go well, but the last week and 1/2 has been hellish. My mom started insisting that the staff was abusive, dragging residents around by the hair, fighting with each other and showing her containers of cocaine. She became hyper-vigilant with her tiny lapdog who never leaves her side. She insisted it need to have a leash on literally all the time and acted as if someone was going to steal or hurt the dog. When her sisters were here to visit this weekend she refused to go home, became belligerent and was calling anyone and everyone horrible names etc. Ultimately we had to call EMS and she was removed from our house in restraints. She told the EMS crew that we had her living in a crackhouse. It was unbelievably awful. Thankfully the EMS guys were fantastic. Compassionate, gentle and patient. The hospital did a full medical work-up and pysch eval and determined that it was dementia related and nothing else. They did prescribe seroquel, but so far she has only had one dose and is refusing to take any more. Tonight she escaped the house when the overnight caretaker thought she was asleep in bed. This is the first time she has done something like this ever, and the operator of the home indicated they will have eyes on her all the time now.
This is a long story to get to my question. My mom has never been happy anywhere she has lived, including in her own home. She simply doesn't want to be old, and is in denial about her dementia diagnosis, but these wild and detailed stories are a new development. I really feel like they are delusions or hallucinations, but can something like that carry on for days and weeks at a time and take on a life of its own? She has created a whole story line around the abuses at this group home, but I can find no evidence that they are true. The staff would need to be doing a phenomenal acting job if it's really as Jekyll and Hyde as my mom portrays. However, it's hard to not worry that there is some truth to any of it. Anyone with similar experiences out there who can provide some advice?

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Your story is very familiar to me. My mom started suffering from delusions in late 2019, and it was nightmarish for her and our whole family. 

- She was allergic to the live Christmas tree we bought for my parents (this part is real). But it morphed into a world where pollen was everywhere, and it was going to kill her. She threw away masses of clothes and blankets that were “infested with pollen.” The pollen was in the hospital, even, when the anxiety turned into an ER visit. 

- The pollen aversion changed into a fear of…static electricity, I think? It was another invisible thing that terrified her. She wouldn’t touch water, she’d cover her entire body and head with a blanket to protect herself. 

- Then, worst of all: she started being terrified of my father, her husband of over 60 years. They live in assisted living, and she would call for help, and try to “escape” downstairs. She was very convincing, and the facility had to put my mom into protective custody until everyone figured out it was delusions. In the meantime, she hit my dad with a cane a few times, and would pull his hair “so he would know what it felt like.” Occasionally she was frightened of her ex-husband (who doesn’t exist). We had to have my dad stay with my brother, and hire a caregiver to stay with mom 24/7.

Seroquel and a bit of Sertraline helped to end this horrible cycle, thankfully, and I have my sweet, loving mom back (her memory is terrible still, but her warmth and twinkle in her eyes is just the same). It took at least 3 weeks to kick in, and we had to work with her doctor to find the right dosage. 

KNOW THIS, THOUGH: in the US, Seroquel has a black box warning (it can cause sudden death in elderly people, and increase fall risk). Because of this, the pharmacy would try to take her off of the medication every few months, and the whole horrible cycle would start again. Because the facility managed her medications, it took awhile for us to pinpoint that her medication had changed — and it takes 3 awful weeks for the medication to work again. My entire family agrees, after a few cycles of this, we’re all willing to accept the risk of this medication. She’s miserable, otherwise.

We have to remain vigilant, though, and have the facility notify us if anything changes in her medication, and then fight against it. This wasn’t easy during the coronavirus lockdown.

I hope you can find help in a similar solution. She was an entirely different person without the medication. My sweet mom was terrified, angry, suspicious and miserable, but the Seroquel changed everything for our family, and gave us our mom back.
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I have an elderly relative that also has hallucinations and delusions. Your situation sounds similar. She had just started on antipsychotic medications and we are also waiting for it to help. You say she is on Seroquel. That type of medication can take about 4 to 6 weeks to take effect. Have you talked to the doctor that prescribed it as far as what to expect and how long it will take to show improvement with her condition? I'm not sure what type of doctor that is treating her, but my relative sees a psychiatrist for her treatment. Have you checked into a nursing home for her to live? That has 24/7 staff that is awake to care for residents. It may be more structured for her care. I know how difficult caring for a relative with those needs are. I hope this helps.
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The short answer is delusions can last for a long time.
Do you know what kind of dementia you are dealing with? My mother had Lewy Bodies and the delusions and hallucinations were very real to her. Once she got an idea in her head, she embellished. She was convinced she was living with her husband and his brother - prior to going into the home. According to her they were out to deprive her of her property; that was why she was put in the home, being held against her will. At one point we were contacted about this by a deprivation of liberty team, she was quite convincing.
Apart from the fact that my stepfather's brother could not have been living with anyone as he was dead at this point; my mother was convinced they were both called Ian and the property she was worried about was a hundred miles away and had been sold 40 years ago. The thing was, because she really believed all this, she was believable too - until the right questions were asked by people who did not know her circumstances.
It is very hard to deal with. The paranoia is real and there seems to be little to be done, other than listen and distract. My mother used to get noticeably less anxious as the visit progressed and normal things were discussed. Good luck.
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roxynicole1 May 2021
Thank you. Hearing your story definitely helps. I'm sorry for all you and your mom went through. I suspect my mom may also have Lewy Body. She fits all of the symptoms to a tee.
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PLEASE, let me answer this: Delusions can last months. In our case, at least one YEAR.

She believed she had a fiance. They spoke on the phone daily. She, of course, was talking to the dial tone. She would sing and croon to the dial tone, and sometimes argue with IF (invisible fiancee). Their imaginary wedding was coming up and she would ask me regularly if IF had called me to set up details. I would tell her no. She would scream at me for lying. If I told her yes, she would scream at me about the imaginary details I set up. I was getting screamed at, no matter what.

As the wedding drew even closer, the phone calls became long sessions of love songs. She shared the "I Love You" song IF had written for her. At this point, I had entered bizarro world. Also regular, intense nausea.

Wedding drew even closer. I asked for her forwarding address and she told me that IF had already told me that, IF was taking care of everything. I pointed out that I had not been invited to the wedding and she screamed at me for lying.

She was transferred to a rehab hospital which also had a memory care facilty on the grounds. She told me that late at night, a group of men gathered outside her window to drink and sing to her. Then she told me that IF (based on a real life, reputable, local, orthopedic surgeon) came to the rehab facility late at night. I pointed out that he was not on the sign-in book, but she told me that he owned the place. When he came in the evenings, they had sex. She was in love. I was now approaching insanity.

When I asked again about where they were going to live, so I could come visit, she told me they would be living on an entire floor of a hospital with his parents. My mother was 95 and she was going to live with somebody's parents????

Along with the main delusion, was the constant refrigerator story. Back when she was still in her fome, she needed a new frig. We went and bought a perfectly fine one. It was installed. But she wanted the fancier, more expensive frig that, more importantly, would not fit between the already build-in cabinets. Somebody had to be responsible for the fact that the fancy frig would not fit so that HAD TO BE HAPLESS ME. Mind you, I was a university professor, there is nothing hapless about me.

So, first IF bought the new frig and it would be delivered on day X. Day X would come and no frig. This meant long arguments with the dial tone. Then, she said that my ex-husband was bringing the new frig by and he would put it in. When no frig arrived, more screaming at me. Then, she would call me to thank me for buying the new frig and ask when it would arrive. She never, not once, answered questions about how to get a too-large frig between the built-in cabinets.

She proceeded to get sicker and I moved her to a nice memory-care facility. She hated it. But one day, she slipped off the 12 carat diamond ring that IF had given to her and asked me to hold on to it for safekeeping. I had it appraised and it came back as a JC Penney's ring, valued at $20 or $25. Once, I pointed out that she had purchased the ring herself, at Penney's, but of course, I was screamed at.

If I used logic, I was screamed. If I went along, I was forced to come up with more and more fanciful detail, and I did not want to play, so I got screamed at.

Want to know how it ended? She died.

Sorry, but this is true and if I had not kept my sense of humor, I would have needed multiple medications to keep me sane.
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roxynicole1 May 2021
Oh wow. What a journey you were on. I'm sorry for all you and your mom went through. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps me understand my own situation more fully.
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I of course am not a doctor of any sort but I think these delusions can become their new reality. My mom continually says that my husband is mean to her, grabs her, yells at her and none of that is true. I think the real truth is she is jealous of him because he takes me away from her. She is also is delusional about people being in her suite - this has been going on for 3 years now ! She changed in the closet because the people on TV can dee her. My mom is also acting out. We are trying a medication but so far it has not calmed the delusions or aggression.
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roxynicole1 May 2021
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you and your mom can find some peace from the delusions.
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Mom had delusions for about 2 years before she passed. She told everyone she was 112 years old. Swore it was true. She was born in 1929 and passed in December 2018 at the age of 89. She would tell me about the MC she was in and how she owned it and all the property surrounding it all the way to the highway a couple of blocks away. And all the houses and apartments she owned and the gardens she had planted and worked in every day.

She used to come to my home to gather pecans from my trees before she became ill and could still drive so of course, that became part of her delusions also. She would ask where was I the day before when she was here picking up all the pecans. Said I should have helped her. These stories were even told during the winter when there were no pecans or gardens and sometimes with ice on the ground outside her window.

She also accused the staff of theft and the other members in the MC unit. She did lose several things but, there were items in her room that were not hers. I took those items to the nurses desk to be returned. Never did find her other shoe. I simply bought an extra pair. Delusions are to be expected. My husband has began to talk about things that are not true or were not done. He gets violent without his meds. So, I make sure they are taken every day. And he did have a UTI at one point and it really wasn't fun. His dr asked me how I knew what was wrong after they got the test results back. My mom!!

If you are really worried, visit with some of the other clients and have casual chats with them. If it is bad there, someone else probably will mention it.
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Imho, my late mother was not diagnosed with dementia, but she did suffer from many U.T.I.s that sent her into hallucinogenic disturbances.
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Yes I have similar experience…with the hallucination & delusions…
My 94 year old mother with dementia also on Seroquel but now I have to find new ways to crush & hide it. She’s been having these psychotic episodes…demanding to call police to look for my father (died in 1992) who she says went to work & never came home. Or call my grandma who died in 1998. Trying to escape from wheelchair &:or bed even though she can’t walk. Hugs 🤗
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The more outlandish the "stories", the less likely I would believe them to be even remotely true. As others suggested, a UTI or other infection can wreak havoc. If they did a urine culture (dip stick tests can miss UTIs) and blood work, then those issues would likely not be the cause.

My mother's first UTI after moving to MC resulted in severe sun-downing. She was insistent that she had guests coming and HAD to go home! Not like your mother's wild scenarios, but clearly she was delusional. She set off every door alarm. They called me to come there, with me thinking what will I do? She's never had this before and was never under my care! By the time I could get there, they had finally gotten her into her room with a magazine. I let the sleeping dog lie. Sadly this started on a Friday evening and not one medical person was able to provide ANY help. We had to wait for Monday when she had an appt set already and staff had to deal with this every evening until then. She had to take an anti-anxiety along with the antibiotic, but only until the UTI cleared. Never had another episode. Subsequent UTIs showed up as night time bed wetting/soaking.

A move certainly can cause changes, usually negative, to happen. We often suggest moving someone to MC before it might be too late, as the move can upset the apple cart.

While they reported the situation is related to dementia, have they done enough testing to determine the underlying cause? Different types of dementia can result in much different symptoms and behaviors. It can also make a difference in what types of medications might work or would be wrong to prescribe.

Hopefully the staff can get your mother to take the medication. Many need to be taken for a given period of time before "good" results are seen, IF they can get her to take it for 2 weeks, but nothing changes, she might need something else. Hopefully they can take her into the psych unit and work on the right meds to at least tone this down.

It sucks getting old. It sucks having medical issues. But this whole dementia thing is just crazy! It would be nice if some research could figure out why so many are going down this path. Yes, age can be a factor, but it isn't the only one. Many people live longer lives now than in the past and they are fine. Some who end up with dementia aren't even really that old - a few who were in mom's facility weren't even old enough for SS!

p.s. As others said, there really isn't a "denial" of the condition so much as dementia lies to the person. Their self-image could be from years prior - I could tell from various comments and discussions that my mother was living her life from about 40+ years ago. I couldn't use the "D" word, as her idea of what that meant wasn't even correct. Mentioning the memory losses, she'd just say she's old and entitled to forget things sometimes. Sadly what's in their head we really can't know, but so long as we can safely do it, go along with whatever they say/think and distract/redirect their focus whenever possible to something better.
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cweissp May 2021
Yes it is hitting younger people. When I visited mom last week - mom was concerned they were moving people over from the SNC over to AL. When med-tech dropped off mom's meds I asked about it and was told that AL definitions are changing due to COVID. One new resident is only 61 - had COVID without severe symptoms but is now almost unable to move. Who knows what we'll be left with from COVID survivors.
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Yes with the dementia. Condition.like myself. It is part of the condition. I was meds for it ,to but it made it worse. There is no cure and there is no survivor. With it.here. is a website for dementia it is society america of dementia. They will help you and family a lot.if you anymore information just let me know.
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With her history of not liking anywhere she lives, these new stories may be her attempt to get away from this newest facility placement. She would need to come up with some pretty dramatic reasons to convince you that this is a bad place. Dementia would skew her stories toward more and more exaggeration and paranoia.

If conversation is even possible, you might be able to tell your mother that "you'll look into it" when she describes some hooror or abuse by staff.

Your description of the home sounds wonderful. I hope yours is the more accurate picture.
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Is there some way you can secretly put cameras into the room? Do NOT tell anyone - not a soul. Sometimes with dementia, they do act out and they have to be put in their place and controlled so they stop - well, good luck. Try to find some proof somehow and talk to other families and residents to get a feel for what is going on. With dementia, she is probably all messed up but it can't continue.
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My husband has fixed paranoid delusions caused by Frontotemporal Dementia. He is on Olanzapine and Nortriptyline. They help him keep the delusions from tormenting him. He was only correctly diagnosed when a Neurologist ordered a PET scan that shows function. Hopefully this information will be of help to you,
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First and foremost the dog should not be in her care since she is losing it and could hurt him.
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I do feel your anxiety and distress. As others have pointed out, there may be an underlying medical condition that may take time to sort out. In my mother's case it was too much insulin and not properly taken. Her prescription had not changed as her failing knees gradually forced her into a life of much less physical activity. She went from a water aerobics class 3 X per week and daily walks to sitting in a chair in front of a tv all day because her knees could no longer support her and other conditions made her a poor risk for surgery.

She slipped into a coma several times from taking her insulin when she got up but did not eat breakfast. During that time she kept having the same delusion/hallucination that there were people living upstairs (she lives in a 1 story mobile home). These people would demand that she fix them meals, but then would leave without eating them. This lasted for most of a summer.

Finally we managed to get a doctor to listen to us. We ended up with Mom taking no insulin at all, but with a much more carefully monitored and restricted diet. Or at least as much as we can manage without being there. We finally got a new doctor who reviewed all her medications and reduced some of them and removed others. Her original doctor had insisted that all the medications had proven good when originally prescribed and would not consider that Mom's changing lifestyle required changes. It took several months to get her used to her altered meds and schedules, but she has not had the delusions/hallucinations since her medications were reduced. That was in 2018 and she has done much better since then. That summer, though, was really horrible. I would not want to do that again, nor would I wish it on anyone else. I hope you can manage to get some medical guidance to ease your mother's distress.

In Mom's case the delusions were obviously delusions. Perhaps you could get a granny cam to put in your mom's room that would be pointed at the door and the area near her bed and chair? You could be assured that you could monitor activity concerning her but still leave her some privacy. This may help with your mental health while you get more information on your mother's health and mental issues.
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You are such a good daughter. Stay strong!
(yes, yea, u can't see it, but we can😊)
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For what it is worth, my husband has been on two medications at two different times that caused him to hallucinate. We took him off those, and the hallucinations stopped.

Having said that , he had a different mental problem --seemingly unrelated to depression--that went away when he took an anti-depressant.

So, meds, right?
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From my experience of taking care of my First husband , who was schizo affective disorder, a delusion can last for a lifetime, or it can be temporary if properly medicated to bring the patient’s mind back to reality. The same goes for hallucinations. The thing to remember is the patient believes it to be true. And they arę in great fear and act out that fear. It’s heartbreaking to see and frightening to deal with, because you don’t know what they’re going to do. Work closely with her doctor and medical team. Hopefully the medicine will work and this crises will pass. If one medication doesn’t work they will try another. I’m sure the staff there is quite used to this. I wish you the best.
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Hello. There is an easy-to-read article in psychologytoday.com about anosognosia that you might find interesting.

it seems to me that it must be a very common condition but I'd never heard about it before and have thought it might be good to share it with other people who might not have either.

best wishes to you.
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Best way to approach this is to consider her delusions as "awake nightmares." They are not reality but she experiences these "thoughts" as reality. Ask her doctor for a geriatric psychiatrist referral. The psychiatrist might be able to recommend therapy or medication to help her and everybody else cope with her delusions.
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For the last your and a half of my dad‘s life (he passed away last April) he was in several facilities ranging from skilled nursing to type A and type B assisted living. Though I never suspected any abuse, nor did he complain of any, I was aware of the need to be vigilant at all times. It is recommended that you make “surprise” late night visits, for example, at various times.

However, my best tool was the use of my Echo Show which offers video calls, including “Drop in” which allows you and others (with permissions set up) to connect via phone and see and, if desired, talk to the person at the other end. Our whole family (all of whom live far away except for me) would video call my dad and be able to see him and he see them. It was a wonderful way for the family to communicate with him.

The other way I used this, however, and as his condition and awareness deteriorated, was to just “drop in” without showing video of myself and be able to observe my dad and interactions with the staff. This did allow me, on several occasions, to notice things that needed to be attended to and call the front desk to have the staff send someone to my dad’s room.

I should add that I had checked into the rule at most facilities that requires signage that there is a video camera in use in a resident’s room, but determined that this device does not meet that criterion because its purpose is for video calls, and there is a tone that sounds when the call first connects. (However, when I didn’t share video of myself, the screen on the device in my dad’s room would remain dark, as though not in use, and I would often just keep it on for a couple of hours to observe his status and care.)

Good luck! Especially with her having wandered away from the facility once, you’re lucky that they have not required you to provide her with an overnight (or 24 hour) sitter.
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I have not read through all of these but check for UTI since it came on suddenly
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My mom had horrible stories about people, places and she was always the victim. This was unusual and became so bad that when she had a aggressive interaction at church, 911 was called and she was baker Act’d (FLORIDA). They stabilized her with giving her her normal medications which she was not taking correctly or at all (hypothyroid pill -not at all). They put her on Zyprexa (10 mg) and in a week she was herself except she still remembered her stories and they were now her new facts. We took her home and she was put on 5 mg Zyprexa (or Olanzapine is another name) and she did well. Since this was an unusual incident, the doctor decided to wean her off Zyprexa.....in 4 weeks the symptoms came back and we were afraid of her. I called the doctor and she is on it again, it took about a week to really get her settled. She was in agony with night terrors and fears and anxious thoughts. She is in assisted living and I put a blink camera in it (I turned off the blue LED so she doesn’t know when I check on her). Mom still has stories (mostly when she is tired or in the evening) but they are not ugly stories; just more of her filling in the blanks of what she did during the day. She thinks the miniBlink camera is a speaker so that is working for me and her. She is in denial of her dementia but I just let her struggle for words and when she does, I say, “that is okay mom, this is who you are now. Remember God Loves you and you are in a safe place.” I have also said, the doctor said that this is a symptom of dementia but it is okay, you are loved and safe.” Since I let mom struggle with finding words, it seems to resonate with her(at least at this time.).
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My mom lived with us when she developed Alzheimer's. She had hallucinations, illusions and delusions. Some people with Alzheimer's feel that the CIA is after them. My mom thought she worked for them! Since she lived with us, I knew there was no abuse going on; it's a more difficult situation to verify when they're not with you. Does her group home allow cameras in their rooms? It's stressful, I know. I even wrote a book about Hubby and I taking care of my mom called, "My Mother Has Alzheimer's and My Dog Has Tapeworms: A Caregiver's Tale." When she had illusions, I had to remind myself that "ill"usion was the right word, since Alzheimer's is an illness, but it was very hard to deal with. As others have mentioned, sometimes other things, like UIT's, can cause symptoms to worsen. Maybe she needs a complete work-up with an internist and a neurologist and/or a geriatric psychiatrist. You might want to email the docs before hand and mention any concerns, since it's often hard to do that right in front of your mom. It's often hard to find the right combo of treatment: medicine, psycho-social intervention, etc. Best of luck.
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As others stated hallucinations, delusions are a part of AD and Seroquel helped my dad tremendously, he was seeing spiders all over his bed, the walls the ceiling, on the hallways, in his food and on people. He completely destroyed his mattress removing the material trying to get rid of them.

The wild stories to my dad are real and there is no dissuading him; I learned just to go along as to avoid stress on both of us. I explained this to the family members who calls or visits him and now we just enjoy the ride. :-)
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I find usually there is some truth mixed in with their stories.

No place is perfect, clean yes, but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

The only way you can get a glimpse is to have a camera installed in her room if she has a private room and watch and see for yourself.

Also, make sure you have her checked out for a UTI Urinary Tract Infections which can cause Big Time and cussing and name calling.

When my Dad gets a UTI, he starts with non stop talking, eating less, then starts hallucinations then Hellish Hallucinations with seeing all kinds of people in the room and then thinking everyone is trying to kill him and won't eat or drink saying we're just trying to trick him and Poison him.

Went through this more than once and it was very scary.

Once his Non Stop talking starts, I'll have his Urine checked for an Infection " UTI " and the Dr starts him on Antibiotics and within 3 days you can tell he's getting back to being his normal.

He takes the Antibiotics for 3-7 days depending on the Antibiotic and the Infection he has.

Deventually is sad for all.

Prayers
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sp19690 May 2021
You really think there is truth to this woman's mothers stories? Which part seems believable to you ?
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Moves are stressful to people with dementia. Feelings of anxiety and illusions are not uncommon when people have dementia. Illusions can last for a long time. But with dementia, things can also change from day to day and her condition may continue to decline. Don't think of her as being "in denial" and understand that some people don't know that they have dementia, they are not able to think logically about themselves or how to care for themselves. Talk to her doctor and discuss what has been happening and the medications that were prescribed. Finding the right medications to calm her can be a trial and error process. Some may not work well, some may have bad side effects. Also talk to the staff at the place where she is staying about how to get her to take the medications that have been prescribed for her anxiety and ask them if the medications seem to be working. The staff may have ways to disguise medications in food, etc. Speak with her case manager at the place where she is staying to find out if they have other ideas about how to get her to calm down and get adjusted to the new place. Visit her as often as you can and at different times of day if you can, so that you can observe more about how they are handling her. If her place allows you to visit without an appointment, and if you can go into her room when you arrive, this is the best way to observe. It might be better not to bring her to your house or even take her out of the facility untill she is in a calmer state of mind, if she gets stressed about changing locations. Check her facility's ratings and if the ratings are consistently good and if what you are observing seems good, you may want to give them the benefit of the doubt.
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Search Dr. Schultzes Kidney Bladder tea.
there is a website you can purchase just the tea or a whole cleanse. I tried the whole cleanse and found the tea worked fine on its own.
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My husband, who is 67, has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s dementia and depression with psychosis. His delusions involve a cartel which I am sometimes part of and other times I’m the victim of. He’s called the police because he thought the cartel was breaking into the house. But then he accuses me of hiding money in the house for the cartel. He also has a whole host of delusions about his body, imagining that he can’t process food correctly and so he stinks very badly. So he doesn’t interact with anyone at his senior residence, takes all his meals in his room. We have upped his Seroquel, but that hasn’t changed anything. When I look back on it, I think the roots of these delusions go back several years. And without being too pessimistic, I don’t have much hope that they’re going away. What I’ve done, and perhaps what you should look into, is join a NAMI group for support and now I’m taking their 8 week (free) course. It has helped me understand how to deal with somebody with delusions. I’ve stopped arguing, I’ve stopped trying to prove that his delusions aren’t true, I’ve stopped telling him he’s delusional. It’s hard, but I’m slowly learning some tools for how to deal with this.
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roxynicole1 May 2021
Thank you. This is helpful to hear, but I am so sorry for all you are dealing with.
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I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing such a difficult time with your mom. I took care of my husbands aunt for four years. She would wave in and out of episodes like you are describing. I remember just crying with her in my frustration. Only to realize she had a UTI. I know this isn’t always the answer but for her it was... the angry, belligerent behavior became my signs to know it was time for antibiotics. It was difficult to get her to take them when she was out of it too. I did find an herbal tea that kept the UTI’s under control... as long as I didn’t run out. ( which I did multiple times) again symptoms would return and once I got her back on the tea she would get calmer and the strange symptoms would lessen and often subside. The key was not to run out of the tea! I would serve it warm with honey and cream and as iced tea. ( I don’t believe sugar is good for UTI’s)

Again I know this may not be your moms issue but it is worth $20.00 to try it. I am going to look up the website for the tea and post it in a minute.

I pray this is helpful for you and your mom. It was an answer to my prayer!

If this isn’t helpful, I pray that someone would near you would be able to help with a permanent solution.
Blessings!
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