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I am 59 years old and have been taking care of my husband which has early onset Alzheimers. I just recently quit my job to take care of him. I feel so isolated I can not go anywhere with out taking him with me (when we leave the house he complains he has a stomach ache) so we have to return home. I have read your posts and all our friends have left also. He talks constantly and will not set down till sundowners kicks in then he gets angry . So, thats another issue.


Any help would be helpful, I feel so alone.

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Go back to work, at least part time. Even if it takes every penny of what you make to pay for caregivers while you are working it will give you an outlet away from him, plus you will continue to add to your own social security retirement benefits.
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Reply to cwillie
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When this begins to affect your own mental health and your own quality of life to this extent it is, quite honestly, time to explore placement for your hubby. I don't see any other way out in all truth. You have no support. You could start with inhome help several times a week, times when you could get out and away to lunch, community center, something else. The bow too tightly strung is easily snapped.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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See a therapist. Ask your doctor to prescribe an antidepressant. Hire some caregivers to give you a break and go back to work.
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Reply to NoTryDoYoda
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1. You need help that can come in to give you a break.
2. You should look to see if there is Adult Day Care in your area. Sending him to Day Care a few days a week will be a lifesaver for you. He will get a break and so will you. I am sure he will tell you he does not feel well when he goes but that is anxiety and he will get used to a routine. And there are medications that can help with his anxiety.
Have you talked to an Elder Care Attorney? If not you really need to schedule an appointment to get things going that you will need to set up. Will you have to apply for Medicaid for him at some point?
Is your husband a Veteran? If so depending on where and when he served he may qualify for help through the VA. It could be a little help or a LOT.
You mentioned he gets angry. When he gets angry does he get violent? If so this is something that you need to take into consideration down the road. Safety should be your priority. Your safety as well as his. If you get injured caring for him who will care for both of you? If you injure him while caring for him it can make things much more difficult. So while this is not urgent now PLEASE think about what you will do if it comes to making a decision about placing him in a Memory Care facility.
Find a support group in your area that you can attend. Some will offer respite if you have no one to watch him while attending a meeting.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I have a dear friend in exactly rou position, although she is a little older.

She has cared for her hubby at home as long as she can--but he's becoming more belligerent and has started 'wandering' and she can't get a decent night's sleep b/c of it.

She is looking in placing him in a MC facility. He does not know who she is, so I guess that makes it a little easier on her.

She did have interim CG's and was mindful of her own need to stay healthy and strong and did so very gracefully. Even when he was challenging, she was sweet and calm with him. But she knew this day would come.
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Reply to Midkid58
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I'm sorry your husband is going through this. Early onset Alzheimer's is generally very aggressive and takes the person life within a few years...or even less. You may have to consider nursing home placement, but since you are 59 it will exceptionally difficult to get a new job at that age range unless you have well sought after skills. Unless he has a life insurance policy that will set you up...consider nursing home, getting a pre-arranged cremation/funeral, and get all the necessary papers such as POA and estate preparation done. You really need to plan on YOUR life, and what you are going to do after he dies.

The cruel thing about life no matter what happens those bills keep on flooding in.
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Reply to cetude
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Give it to God take some time for your self it is hard depression is a tough thing to deal with and when someone else we love makes it hard slow down still enjoy life and do not lose your self feel free if you need to talk I am here.
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Reply to vickic
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If you are able hire a companion for him. Then you go and do things you enjoy. I hired a young man to stay with my father twice a week and I told dad he was coming so dad could teach him to carve and work with him. This let dad accept him easily with no fuss. I also took an antidepressant for awhile, getting out and away are a big help. You could also check into an adult daycare situation, many people who are still socially aware enjoy this.
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Reply to glendj
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I am so sorry for what you are feeling. I am going through much of the same with my husband and the disease. With each situation/event with him, I try not to think much about that, after I have helped him or made accommodations for it. I reason with myself how I have just made it easier on myself. Such as not responding to him in anger. When I started to feel bad that I had no one to carry on a conversation with any longer, I realized it gave me more time to catch my breath and relax....even if it was for a short time.

I do keep in touch with out of town friends via computer and text. So have that conversation.

My husband talks alot, non stop, about nothing. But I have found out cutting out caffine and sugar has really helped slow that down. But when he does that when the TV is on, I put my TV head phones on and I can enjoy the program, or go in the next room and work on my puzzle for awhile.

With being a caregiver, we have to take care of ourselves. Try to catch your breath more often and do something for yourself each day.
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Reply to Marylepete
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It would be wonderful if you could arrange to have a volunteer or pay an aide to stay with your husband for two or three mornings or afternoons a week so you could get out by yourself. Use those times to shop or take part in a senior exercise class or be part of a caregiver support group. You can do errands more efficiently by yourself. A caregiver support group would be a good place to share feelings and get ideas about how to cope. An exercise class would offer helpful physical activity and,the perhaps more importantly, social contact.
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Reply to RedVanAnnie
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