My grandmother is 91 and has been placed in a memory home after going to hospital with UTI. They said she had no emergency contact. Therefore placing her with a facility. My mother was her power of attorney and now I am my mothers POA. Grandma is 6 hrs away and mother was not telling me she no longer lived in her home and said she was okay and had a woman that was helping her. But my mail returned with no forwarding address. It took a month or more of searching for her to learn she was in the memory home side of this residential facility. I go to see her immediately making the long drive and first entry I was greeted with the smell of soiled pants that had been on for a while no sheet on bed no water available unable to walk because she had no assistive devices and no one to assist with any transport.
She was so skinny and said she was waiting for someone to bring her some food and repeated that for most the time I was there. I got her a bottle of water which she gulped as if she had never had it before. She obviously was not being treated or cared for properly. She had a broken hip some time prior to my visit while in their care. I discovered that a distant cousin was to have power of attorney for her and placed her here and then threw away all of her belongings and clothing and photographs. I am not sure who controls her finances but obvious to me is that they were not being used on her. Nothing in the room or on her body belonged to her and her fingernails were painted red. Grandma would never have wore that color she was a natural she drank hot tea and ate small amounts or nibbled throughout the day because it was her and her cats to feed. She did not ever take alot of prescription medication and was into healthy things and vitamins she had the softest hands ever. Nothing in this place was familar to her even down to her fingers. So I ask you, How do you think a person with memory problems would begin to recognize anything or remember anyone or anything when everything in her life is unfamiliar.
She cannot even make a call to someone she knows because they do not have a phone . She has no calendar around to see the day and date the clock did not have a battery. She is approached during nighttime late hours by a man with full tatooed arms and says she needs to have her clothes removed and be showered with no woman to assist. There is not one item from her personal belongings she had at home which is now gone and no cat for her to care for. Strangers all around. And probably feeling violated over and over and no one to reach out to. She goes to the hospital with a home and belongings shoes and clothes that fit her and her cats then is returned to a place that is locked down no familiar care products, a tv (she never watched before or owned) is in front of her to which she has no controller and can only watch it or try to sleep to avoid it, with the most vulgar episode of Family Guy playing. How in the heck do you expect a person to begin to seem like they have a clue to what day or time it is and feel safe in the environment where she has been place in another hospital to recover from a broken hip she got while in this place.
She is not provided adequate liquids and food so no wonder she has memory problems. Yet , they tell me that I cannot be told what medication they just gave her, and that she is being cared for yet she asked my mother if she could come and live with her now, and does not like it in this place the people are not sociable and it is too much like a hospital and men are allowed to just barge on into her room she has no lock on the door. But the people husband and wife across the hall have a locking door which they are locked out of until late night because he will try to take his wife into their room and she will try to stand up on her own and is a fall risk. I observed a man even begging to know if a doctor would come he was still in pain in his hip area and had no way to call family member to help and was told to go away that he was already checked and nothing wrong. Yet it could have been an anuerysm or something causing his pain. So I had to finally leave my grandma a the few I got to meet and that was so difficult to drive away with Grandma left in this place. Welfare people came because I called about the services at this facility so they were given a check for proper treatment and I spent hundreds of dollars purchasing her clothing and hygiene products that I knew she had used so as to bring some comfort to her. I fed her and left extra food she liked and if anyone wanted some they could share. I have to go through Oregon court to get a guardianship/conservatorship for her but hesitate because the move might be to much and fires are currently creating a major natural disaster with evacuations and all. My parents kept power on with no evacuations, but the smoke is bad and it is super hot so she remained in Oregon. Any ideas for any of this is welcomed . Emotionally drained