Mom was just moved to a skilled nursing facility a week ago. This is new for her, and she’s not happy. She just wants to go home. With a diagnosis of moderate dementia, she cannot live alone anymore, and she refused to allow me to hire help to come in. She does not believe she needs help, maintains that she can take care of the apartment herself, etc. (It’s been me doing everything, driving an hour to her apartment, grocery shopping, preparing meals, changing sheets, doing laundry, emptying the commode, cleaning the bathroom, helping her shower & shampoo, etc. She has a house cleaner who comes in once a month, and that is the only thing she has been willing to allow.) She couldn’t manage taking her pills anymore, either, and she won’t allow us to have someone come in just to give her the pills twice a day. So, the SNF is what we’ve come to. ANYWAY, visits have been mostly fine, but it’s always hard when it’s time for us to leave. We have learned that if we say, “I’m going to head home now,” that sets her off asking, “Who’s going to take me home? How will I get there? What do you MEAN I have to stay here?! WHY?! I WANT TO GO HOME!!”
So, I’m curious how you make your exit without setting up a scene? I can’t just disappear. I walked out of her room the other day to find her a newspaper and she really lost it, because she didn’t know where I went and started screaming my name.