I am new to caring for my father, and I regret it. He is 91 and he is the same mean man he always was, and it has become worse with age. He only needs light care right now with medication and eating.
I was asked by my siblings to move in and take care of him, in exchange for his house. My husband and sons moved in, and immediately things soured. We were promised we could do whatever we want to fix up the house, but when we brought up painting, my father immediately said NO. My siblings listen to him. The house hasn't been painted in 60 years. This small thing has become a huge argument.
My father has always been a mean, controlling person. It has caused me tremendous anxiety in life, even to the point I've struggled to keep jobs because I can't function. He belittled me most of my life, and still does, even in front of my family. My husband speaks up, but it doesn't matter. My father will say what he wants the next day.
I did this because even though my father was mean, he helped me financially in the past. He was giving us his house because my family has lived in a tiny apartment. Now I am feeling horrible by thinking, "Does my dad even deserve care?" He is vicious.
My father still has his clothes in the bedroom my son's share. He refuses to move his stuff. He has junk in the closet in his room, and won't let us move it to the basement to move his clothes into. My father keeps belonging in mine and my husband's room too. There's no space to keep my father's belongings all over the house, but he refuses to move them downstairs to storage. There are 100 shirts of his in my son's closet alone. He has so much stuff he refuses to even move out of a bedroom we are using.
I regret this every single day for the month we've been here. I miss my peace of mind and privacy. I didn't just give up my life, I gave up my sanity.
My dad threatened to sell the house if we don't listen to him and he will not allow the house to be painted inside. He is very combative and like I said, mean as he ever was, even worse.
I am sorry I did this. I should have known better that he would not change. I've had chest pains like crazy and if it weren't for my calm husband and kids, I would have had a heart attack by now.
I don't know what to do.