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He is currently in a nursing home receiving rehab for a broken hip. For the last few years I have been trying to see to him because I am his only child. He is an alcoholic and abusive. Even before his current accident, he couldn't, or wouldn't care for himself. Bathe, eat, clean home, etc. I do not want him to leave where he is now, for I am unable to care for him properly, nor do I care to. He, however, refuses to pay for nursing home. Can I refuse to pick him up and return him to his home, knowing he won't have or hire proper care? What would likely happen, from the nursing home standpoint, should I do this?

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Yes, and you SHOULD refuse to participate in any "unsafe discharge" and should make it clear you will not be participating in this man's care as you have for years been estranged from him and for good reason. Let the State take guardianship and the social workers do their work. Step away and do the work you have already taken on.
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U are not responsible for him. Talk to discharge planning about your concerns and refuse to be apart of his self neglect
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You should put it in writing that he doesn't have anyone to help him at home.

You are not responsible unless you get involved.

My dad told the ombudsman that he had a place to go, caregivers in place and a move date. Really!?! I was his plan and he figured he could force my compliance with his plans being told to all that would listen. I just about had a fit, no I am not a plan!!!!! It took a lot of time to convince everyone that I was not taking him in.

Start telling the facility that it is an UNSAFE DISCHARGE and put it in writing to ensure that you have proof in case the facility gets him a cab. If they do that, call APS, do not go over and help, call and get him help, if you show up they will stick it to you and say he has care, so please do not show up, call APS and get him in the system that can force him to accept some help and most likely facility placement.
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WannaBeDone Jul 2020
I wrote a very detailed letter about my father and the reasons he shouldn't be allowed to leave. That he wasn't able to care for self before the break, so he certainly couldn't now. I received a call from social worker saying she had talked to him and he plans to leave and he is his own RP. I told her it wouldn't be safe to do so. She said his issue sounds to be substance abuse so put him in rehab for that. I said alcohol wasn't his only issues. I said I would be refusing to pick him up because I knew I'd be taking him into an unsafe situation, and she just said we can't keep him being he is his own RP, he could leave, or even leave AMA. I have no idea what to do about this mess and want no part of a legal battle with this man. I may have to just walk away, and look very bad in doing so. In his mind he is leaving next Tuesday, and he can't even walk! How can they roll a man out to a taxi and send him away when he can't even walk?! That should be interesting for the taxi driver.
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Yes, you can refuse for the reasons you give ur hands are full. If its determined he needs 24/7care and its unsafe to discharge him they probably won't. They may need to assign a guardian thru the courts. I would allow it.
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WannaBeDone Jul 2020
What does one do if his Dr does deem him ready to go? Will I then be obligated to pick him up to take him home? I've lost faith after talking with social worker, being her attitude was his only issue, being alcohol. It doesn't seem to matter to them I've repeatedly said he couldn't care for himself, nor could I go be with him. I've said it isn't safe to release, and would seem they think that's my problem. Another thing that bothers me is he hasn't actually seen a Dr. I've been told Dr's aren't visiting in person, and contact is by way of phone. Virus related. There isn't a doubt in my mind that should he go home, he will probably fall within the first week, messing up the surgery. I am telling these people all that has been suggested to me, here, but I sure feel unheard. I ask again, if they DO release him, claiming it's safe, do I then need to legally go get him?
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