How do sign a parent into a nursing home as a healthcare proxy?


My dad is being assessed for nursing home admittance after being admitted to the hospital for a bad fall. it was also discovered he was dehydrated and under nourished. It has become apparent that my 82 year old stepmother is now incapable of caring for my father who is getting more difficult as his dementia progresses. The hospital social worker is trying to get my father to sign for me to be his healthcare proxy during one of his more lucid moments, If that can be accomplished how would I sign him into a nursing care facility as his healthcare proxy and not be responsible for payment. He and my stepmother own a home outright and their only sources of income is social security which they rely on to pay for every day expenses. There are no other assets. My stepmother is completely uncooperative about helping with the medicaid application and will not give me the necessary financials to fill out what is needed. Please help as I will be talking to the hospital social worker on Monday. APS is also involved due to my stepmother's negligence in providing proper care for my father.

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Elder attorney gave my mother NOT ever sign her name on any paperwork for my father (in NH) as she would become responsible for bills if he did not pay. He advised to sign his name, and underneath write “BY xxxxxxx, POA. Check laws in your state though.
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Reply to ML4444


I was instructed to sign my name, Attorney in Fact, for Moms name.

I was instructed to sign my name as POA for, Moms name.

I was instructed to sign my Moms name by my name as POA.

Mom had never been declared incompetent so, I accompanied whoever to wherever Mom was to let her scribble her signature.

I did sign Mom into Hospice. Honestly, I don’t remember how I signed. I was on overload that day.
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Reply to lizzywho61

If the social worker is not successful in obtaining your father's signature...

That won't actually be a problem. The hospital will not discharge him home to be your stepmother's responsibility, given that she is 82 and being investigated for neglect. So they will have to organise his admission to a place of safety by whatever means they normally use for a patient who has no health care proxy.

Are you sure it wouldn't be better just to let them get on with it? Don't let the social worker's no doubt sincere desire to help you blind you to the fact that you will be doing her job, which makes it even likelier that she will be delighted to assist you.

You don't *have* to do this for your father to be protected, is what I mean. Be careful about what exactly you are working so hard to achieve.

I am also chewing over the thought of an 82 year old - who's been your father's primary caregiver for how long? - being investigated for neglect of her husband, and blamed for his poor condition.

I hope somebody is offering her some support?
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Reply to Countrymouse

I signed "x, pursuant to DPOA dated ______, 20xx, as Proxy, on behalf of X's father, (insert name), and not individually." I kept thinking that I should just buy a stamp - it would be easier than writing all that verbage repeatedly.

Actually, I've found that most health care workers who touch on this area don't really understand the difference between a POA, DPOA or Living Will (or Health Care Proxy).
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Reply to GardenArtist

Be careful here, what you most need to be concerned about is financial POA not healthcare proxy.
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Reply to cwillie


I have seen several different ways for you to sign suggested.

I too always let my elders sign their forms themselves. I was not educated on what my financial responsibility would be and did not feel comfortable taking an administrator, Hospital Social Workers advice.  They always had conflicting advice.

If an attorney drew up the Medical Power of Attorney or Healthcare Proxy, I would ask that person.
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Reply to lizzywho61

I would ask the SEa advice about this.

What I've seen here is signing "Jane Smith in her limited capacity as Health Care Proxy for William Smith.

When my mom was sent to rehab after her stroke, I put the clipboard in front of her and she signed. Sort of.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn