I just found this site and am so glad that I did. I was very recently cast into the caregiver role for my 71 year-old mother who had been hospitalized for 3.5 months before being discharged into my care. She has been through a lot, both physically and mentally (pneumonia, TIA, URI, and confirmed dementia). I believe that, on top of everything else, she also suffered from "institutional delirium, " which from what I've read and been told, is quite common for an aging person with a history mental health problems (of which she definitely has), who've been hospitalized for extended periods of time. So once she was cleared to be discharged, she pleaded with me to not make her go to rehab from the hospital (despite the fact that she really needed to). I just didn't have the heart to deny her request and agreed to care for her in my home. It's been only 5 days, and I'm on the brink of being completely overwhelmed. Due to being totally bedridden for 2 of the 3.5 months she was hospitalized, she has ZERO mobility. The plan is for her to work PT here at home and eventually regain muscle tone and strength, and hopefully at least some mobility. However, I cannot shake the feeling that she has no intention of "doing the work" and becoming mobile. Every time I try to encourage her to do very light exercises in bed, she responds with, "I can't," with the excuse that she's too tired or in too much pain. When the nurse comes to check on her, however, she's suddenly able to raise and bend her legs on request, with a smile. But when I'm trying to clean/change her diaper, she will not even attempt to help make it easier for me so I have to move her as best as I can (not easy moving a 180 lb woman's dead weight). I'm not going to be able to continue pretending that I can manage doing all this, especially the diaper changing. Twice yesterday and once today, my eyes filled with tears as I tried to hold back my vomit, and revulsion. I simply do not have the stomach for it any of it (not only poop but huge external hemorrhoids, and blood from the hemorrhoids. ) I have really tried but I just don't have the stomach for it. I know that I must speak up but I'm worried that she's going to be upset when she realizes that I asked someone to take over this chore that I dread literally 4-5 times a day. But now I think of it, I'm not sure it's even possible to get someone to come to our home 4 times a day just to change a diaper (?). Is that even a thing? I'm not sure, but I am sure that it's getting harder for me to manage. I've got to get help. A home health aide is set to come and tend to her once/week, but what am I to do about the other 6 days?
I'm overwhelmed and a little lost. Thanks for reading 🙂