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Husband has finally come to terms with the fact that he has to be changed when using the restroom. I am trying to find a comfortable way for both he and I.

I agree with BAMinOh. The best thing to remove soiled depends is to cut the seams. They are easy to tear off as well as long as you rip on seams. It eliminates dragging the dirty depends down the legs and feet, literally making a bigger mess. Also I have found you can place two depends on him when going out in case there’s an accident. You then remove the inner soiled depends (by ripping seams) without having to remove pants to put on a clean one. That’s a trick I’ve noticed hired caregivers use. Goes without saying to always have a supply of wipes and gloves on hand. Good luck.
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lizzyo Feb 19, 2020
Wow, I would never have thought of 2 at once. Thanks!
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For your own safety and ease of personal clean up have a box of latex gloves in the house at all times.
The two suggestions here are about all their is to it. One other thing, for my father in law in the late stages we installed a safety handle bar on the wall across from the toilet. It gave him a place to hold himself up while we did this. It also gave him a place to grab to get himself up and down from the toilet. There were not studs in the wall in the right place so I had to first cut a piece of wood to match where the studs were then mount the safety handle to hit. We painted the wood to match the wall paint so it did not look modified.
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AlanBingham Feb 17, 2020
Well done. This is both a good idea and attaching to the studs can really reduce risk of a fall if the bar came detached from the wall
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Hi, can he walk to the bathroom and sit on the commode? If so, I recommend adding a bidet to the toilet and keeping a stack of fresh diapers there for him. The bidet spurts water while he sits on the toilet, and he can move around a bit so it cleans where it needs to. It saves his dignity because it helps him clean himself. Then he can use a baby/adult wipe to make sure he’s clean, and put on a clean diaper.

There may come a time when he can’t walk or needs help with these steps. Once he can’t walk, he will need to be changed on the bed. Good luck.
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Bacodt Feb 17, 2020
That is exactly what I did with my husband. The bidet doesn’t always clean as good as you would hope. Still defiantly need wipes. I got really large wipes from sams club and I also ordered a bunch of cheaper white washcloths and used rinse less bathing solution with them to make sure he was clean.
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Tearing or cutting the depends off is definitely the way to go. I also like the idea from JColl7 about putting two depends on him. I found a product from a company that I ordered dads depends from called Aloe Vesta, this is a spray on cleaner and moisturizer it is fantastic for removing the odor of urine and feces. I like to use it to wash my hands also it has a pleasant scent and keeps my hands soft.
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swinheim Feb 17, 2020
Where do you get Aloe Vesta
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I would use a pair of round tipped scissors and cut the Depend down each side while he is still standing. Much easier to remove and dump contents in toilet.
JuliaRose, above, made a very good suggestion.
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You can change pull ups without removing pants. Put on one foot and then push up through that leg. Then pull other side down through other pants leg and over foot. It works with practice. The CNA's always do that with my mom.
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Agree with others. There are adult diapers with tapes on the sides (like baby diapers) Easier to put on and take off. No need for scissors. Any med supply store should have them or go online. Lots of gloves and wipes. And plastic garbage bags.
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Depends that open on sides. Gloves for you. Lots of baby type wipes. Plastic bag big enough for all the mess.

Remove depends from standing position. Place in plastic bag. Encourage him to sit and finish any need to defecate or void.

Wash legs (if needed) and areas not in seated position. Discard soiled wipes in bag.

Have him stand. Wash bottom - make sure to wipe crack and scrotum clean. Discard soiled wipes in bag.

Take off soiled gloves. Discard in bag. Clean your hands.

Put on clean depends.

Put on new
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How do you change pull up depends without removing pants? I'm confused.
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With my dad I was able to tear the sides and carefully remove them after they had been pulled down and he was sitting on the toilet. Unfortunately it was impossible to put the pull ups back on after cleaning him without removing his pants first. I would have him remain sitting while I removed his pants and then positioned new pull ups and pants around his ankles. I had to have him stand back up then I’d clean him with toilet paper, and a flushable wipe. Usually it took some adult size non flushable wipes to finish so I had a little bucket with a plastic bag in it at the ready to use for the disposal of the diaper and non flushable wipes. He was unable to reach around and wipe on his own and getting up and down was a trial for him so by doing it this way it lessened the need to stand up and sit down so much. After he was all clean I’d have him stand and then I’d pull up his diaper and pants. It was hard but we got used to it since there was no other way around it as limited as his mobility was. Finally he was bed bound and I’d have to try and roll him from side to side with very little help from him since he was extremely feeble by that point. Then we had diapers with tabs but I’d have to fold them under him on his side then roll
him over and unroll the folded diaper and hopefully have it positioned correctly as to be even on both sides! I never got as good at it as his hospice nurses but I learned a lot! It was an experience I’ll never forget! It’s amazing what you can do when you must! I had taken care of my husband in hospice previously so I’d probably have been scared to take on my dad if I’d not had experience in that area before. You’ll get better the more you do it!
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