My mom is becoming delusional. She can make a statement about anything, whether or not it’s true, and believe it to be the absolute truth. I have lived with my mom for a little over 13 years. After Cardiac Bypass 5 years ago she started showing signs of Alzheimer’s. She is now aggressive with violent outbursts. I have been slapped, pushed and hit. I have even had busted lips.

She refuses to see her doctor for checkups, won’t leave the house for anything. She smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day. She will either sleep 18 to 20 hours a day or just stay in bed. She “washes up” but hasn’t taken a shower in almost 3 years! She eats pb&j only and drinks only diet cokes.

I don’t know what to do. I am at my wits end. I did not educate myself as well as I should have. I thought I was prepared. I helped my mom take care of my father who also had Cardiac Bypass then developed Vascular Dementia.

When I begin to think it’s time to get her placed, she shows a glimmer of hope. A little spark of who she was. I do have POA but don’t even know how to begin. Any advice is welcome.

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I'd begin with her doctor - does s/he know about her violent outbursts? From there I would move on to having her assessed as to what level of care is appropriate, I believe your local agency on aging is the contact for that.
Have you ever toured local facilities, do you have one in mind? If not you should do some fact finding.
You also need to understand the financial implications of moving her - how she will pay for it, whether or not she will need medicaid and whether the facility you want will accept it.
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Excellent advice, Barb. I would have posted the same.
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If your mother is delusional even part of the time, and it's not due to an acute condition like a UTI, why would "a little glimmer" of who she used be be any reason not to place her?

Her brain is broken. She needs a higher level of supervision and care than can be given in a private home. If she still has some cognitive skills, she will adjust far better than if you wait until she's constantly out of it.
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