My 93 year old father has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's although he's not yet actually had a face-to-face meeting with a doctor, to tell him (he's had 2 appointments with Memory Nurses). He's due to be prescribed anti-depressants. He lives with my 83 year old mother and is making her life a misery. He's miserable and bad-tempered (but to be honest, has always been like this) and expects her to wait on him hand and foot. He will not be left alone at all now, so follows her to the bathroom and around shops. She has to help dry him after the shower, do his medications twice a day, she does all the shopping, cooking (that's another thing - he will barely eat anything and is afraid of choking) and takes him to all his medical appointments (sometimes 4 or 5 in a week). She has no life. No time even to watch the TV. He's been into a home for respite (only because we nagged him until he agreed) 3 times now but every time he comes out, everything goes back to where it was. My parents shout at each other and fight constantly (he won't wear his hearing aids most of the time). My brother and I are trying to persuade him to go into a home full time. He was on the brink of doing so but then the home said he would have to go into their dementia unit (last time he stayed he'd upset other residents with his rages, to the point that they were refusing to go into the dining room when he was there). He doesn't want to go into the dementia unit so is refusing to go into a home. Meanwhile, my mother is miserable. He's also blocked her way out of the flat a couple of times, when she just wanted to get out for a few minutes peace (I was there once, so witnessed this). I have come to the conclusion that the only course of option open to us now, is to tell him that we are taking Mum away, that she cannot cope with him anymore and that he will have to either stay in the flat on his own (which he wouldn't/couldn't do), or go into a home. I don't want to take this course of action - he will be furious, for a start - but see no alternative. It feels like getting my mother out of an abusive relationship (one that I should have removed her from years ago). Any advice/help? Has anyone been in a similar situation?