She was put there against her will and she wants out.

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Doctors are involved, Beta, in admissions to memory care. I am afraid that there may be more problems than you were heretofore aware of. In order for your Fiancee to be in Memory Care care there would have to be a responsible party, a POA for Health Care or for Financial, likely BOTH. This would be your contact person. I think the question is if or if NOT there is a diagnosis of dementia. And who is the POA. Everything depends upon those two things.
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She was put there by DIL so she can steal her house from her. She has minor memory problems as many do today. Otherwise she is fine. Have known each other 7 yrs.
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worriedinCali Oct 2019
Betamax there is a lot more to the story here. A DIL can’t just put her in memory care. Not only does she have to have proper authority but your fiancé has to qualify for it. No memory care will take someone who has minor memory problems, it takes more than that to be admitted. Has she been diagnosed with dementia? If she has then marriage is not in the cards for you I’m afraid.
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They all want out. If she is in a nursing home, she must have some significant issues and needs special care.

Why do you need to get married, are you planning to have children? Can you take care of her?

If she is in control of her senses, and no one else is her guardian, then I don't see why she can't sign herself out.

Something does not make any sense to me.
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betamax, sounds like the two of you were together before she was placed in a nursing home, correct? Who in her family placed your fiancee into the nursing home?

One has to realize, a nursing home will not admit a person unless it is decided by the nursing home that it takes a village to take care of that person. Are you ready to be a full-time caregiver [3 full-time shifts each day]?

One idea is to move to a senior community where there is Independent Living, Assisted Living, and a Nursing Home all in one complex. That way you can live in Independent Living and your fiancee can live in the Nursing Home. That way you can spend quality time together.
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Who put her there?

If she has been determined to have dementia, she will not be able to get married. A marriage is a contract and a person with dementia generally cannot enter into a contract.

Next questions:

Why do you want to get married?

What degree of care can you provide her?

Are there money and assets involved on either side?

Are there kids involved on either side?
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Get married in the nursing home would be my guess? A minister will come there to marry you I would imagine. She is not demented and with a guardian I am assuming? In all truth, if there is no dementia, and if she doesn't have someone with guardianship assigned, she is for all intents and purposes free to leave. They are not prisons.
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Is she comptent? Why is she in the nursing home? Do you mean to move her OUT of the nursing home? Or just out for the wedding?
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Bring the wedding to her?
has she been appointed a guardian? We really need more info in order to give you accurate info.
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