How do I find help clearing out my father's home after he passed?

It costs money for help I am a cna for the last 10 years I am sole caregivier for my father yet hes in good shape, I have taken care, hired help to clean and sell or give away things it can be done its over whelming. it will cost a lot more to higher a estate person I have some advice glad to help

After you have gone through everything yourself, look into estate liquidators for assistance. One that was recommended to me from someone else on this site is called “Everything But The House” (ebth.com) We will probably be using them, or one like them, soon. Mom will be 97 soon, and is in a memory care center.

Whatever you do please take the time to go through drawers, pockets on clothing, old purses, etc. even the freezer before selling or donating them. Older folks tend to hide valuables and documents.

Look under furniture too, that's where I found the lockbox with the wills, deeds, etc. The mattress is a cliche place to hide stuff but don’t overlook that either!

We found over $300 in cash squirreled away at Mom's house, and a dozen unused gift cards. Go through letters, cards, and envelopes to check for money or checks. We found her checkbook wrapped in a shirt in the back of a drawer, and credit cards in various handbags. She even filled film canisters with quarters, I took about $150 in coins to the bank.

Make sure any documents that have personal information are removed or destroyed. Mom had canceled checks dating back to the 1950's. Remove old prescriptions, some CVS stores have bins where you can drop them for disposal.

I am in the process of doing this now for my mom who is 94, and lives with me and finally gave the go-ahead with selling her home 2-3 hrs away. I set up packers, movers that would have come next week but almost fainted when they told me the price, approx 5k !! I said yes at the time, having already set up a local storage place to bring it and then we go through things a little at a time.

I had gone over for a long weekend to get it done and moved, but delayed it after realizing how much stuff to pack and then move. Later that day and the next day after sticker shock of moves these days, I started going through things myself and brought a huge load back this weekend and will go next weekend for 4-5 days to finish up boxing up what I'll bring ... less than I planned because Mom did not remember a bunch of things this trip :) and arrange for loading help on a truck rental for the few pieces of big furniture items that we will incorporate into my house (while she is living).

Luckily a realtor friend of the family who we will list it with will meet with people to spruce it up a little to sell it (fixing a door, interior painting, and whatever decision is made on floors.... of course mom does not remember any carpet smell from past dogs :( , realtor says replace with inexpensive carpet, which I agree).

I have to say that it is ever so much better FOR ME to be able to do it while mom is still living..... so glad she has finally agreed after 2 years of it being vacant .... because if she had already passed, I am sure, I'd only take a few items and "estate sale" the rest of it.

Oh yeah, and all of this going on while my "tripod" dog (leg amputation almost 2 months ago) is not doing well.... her other back leg is hurt, so she can't stand at all and now for the last day and a half has not urinated..... if it was the other little dog we have, she'd go in the house in a minute, but this special sweet dog would NEVER go in the house, so back to the vet again tomorrow after going to the ER vet tonight. If they have to catheterize her, she will have to be sedated, and then there is still the problem of the hurt "good" back leg .... if it does not heal soon, I think her time will be sooner than later. She's not big but is heavy and my back hurts, and no one else available to take her outside and esp. because she won't go unless she can stand on her own. A sling/harness is not working for her with only her 2 front legs functioning (and problems with one of them in the past).

I wish you so much luck, fiorini, and check back in with all of us and let us know how it is going.

You can also get the app “Letgo” on your phone where you take a pic, the item is posted in your area, & can be sold. Also Facebook Marketplace for your area. I would have done “Letgo” if I didn’t live 200 miles away.

Hire an estate liquidator.

Depending upon what he possessed there are companies and/or individuals who for "x" amount or for a percentage of what the items bring who will go through his personal possessions, price, organize & run an estate sale. I've actually watched programs about this. I can't remember if they were shown on PBS or HGTV or some other channel.

You can also hire an auctioneer to come in & either haul everything off to his auction house or you can choose to have the auction of all his possession & his house right on site.

Unfortunately, you don't say how much stuff there is to deal with, the condition of his house, etc. so that has to be taken into consideration as well.

You say you were his sole caregiver but not if you are his only heir although that seems to be the case. If you are his only heir, that makes things easier.

You don't say if you have a full time job or what other responsibilities you have that may limit your time in dealing with this challenge.

You don't say if you live in the same town/city/area as his house & possessions.

There's a lot of things to be taken into consideration. Without all the above information, it's really hard to give you the best possible advice.

At least you haven't rushed in & just started pitching things. The task is like eating an entire elephant. It can only be accomplished one tiny bite at a time. But then time may not be something you have.

I'm not looking forward to that particular chore myself. My mom and stepfather were huge pack rats. Not to the point where you couldn't walk through the house, like on that show Hoarders, but still pretty bad. When we moved mom from the 15 room farmhouse she lived in with my stepfather to my house, we got rid of a lot of junk, but had to do it when she wasn't home. She's been in assisted living for about 3 years now and my basement and pole barn are filled to overflowing with all of her possessions - none of which have been touched in at least 8 years. I want to get rid of them but somehow I'm sure she will know and will never get over it. There is furniture - mostly worthless, clothing, knicknacks, tools, craft supplies. Not much is in good shape because she never took care of stuff, just kept buying it. I feel like I'm drowning in her trash.

If you file taxes and use Schedule A and can use charity donation then I would contact whoever gives out such receipt with itemization. If not and you want money, consider a yard sale. If not then I would snap pics and post on craigslist or any local for free, many on FB and trust me they will come. I gave away more broke, don't work items on Craigslist then items I was selling.

I suggest an estate liquidator. You can find them on the Internet. Interview 3 of them and follow your gut feeling. I had a very nice, honest guy handle my husband’s car stuff when his Alzheimer’s Disease got worse.

We, too, had my mother's home to clear out in another state after my caregiving stint had ended as she passed away. My DH was an excellent organizer - We gave some to New Hampshire cousins and their friends, some to my mother's friends and neighbors, some an antique shoppe bought and one man who had a shore thrift store took A LOT OF FURNITURE. Talk with the town's elder case worker and you can donate some clothing and medical equipment to them.

Dont forget habitat for humanity

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 2 years ago and I just started going threw things for my father because it is so overwhelming and emotional. My sister was up and helped a little going threw my mother's jewelry and deciding what we wanted. We also had some fun. It was good. I wasn't sure I wanted to but glad we did. Take it a little at a time.

I cleaned out my parents' home of 50 years with some help from my mother's housecleaner. My father had died a year and a half before we moved mom to assisted living. It took me a month of daily work, except for taking Thanksgiving off. I donated clothing to a nearby church that had a used clothing store, donated religious books to mom's pastor and church family, saved some china for a cousin, a few keepsakes for my sister and me, shredded papers, put what my mother wanted to take into a U-Haul and trashed everything else. You may find that there is little to nothing worth keeping, so I encourage you to toss with abandon. I could have rented a large dumpster and filled it, but it turned out I could get rid of it all bit by bit. Unfortunately, there was no recycling service in their small town. Afterwards, we cleaned the house and left everything in it for an auction service. The sum total from that came to $1,500. If your parent had a relationship with a religious organization, they might be willing to come help you. Otherwise, you may have to hire help. Just be careful to keep all important documents secured and out of sight.

Had two good friends come and help me clean out my mom’s house. When I started getting emotional about items they would get me back on track, “ are you keeping the item or donating it”. Hope you have a few good friends that can help you.

I didn't have time to read all the posts, I have only one idea. The lady at my bank said that sometimes older people hide money in old prescription bottles. Most of them are the right height. So, so through prescription bottles before you toss them.

If you are unsure how much something is worth, find out. For example, my late Aunt had about 6 fur stoles and jackets. They were worth nothing. The store in Las Vegas that sold fur coats wouldn't even let me bring them in to look at them.

I had the same when my mother passed away.  It is overwhelming but there is help.  I called an auction house and they came and picked up a lot of the furniture for an auction.  The auction house will take a percentage of the furniture sold and then send you a check for the other.  I then got in touch with 1800GOTJUNK.  They came in and removed anything I asked them to, and there was a lot of stuff to be thrown away.  There fee is pretty reasonable, and they are excellent at the job.  I gave a lot of things to different charities.  Many charities come and pick up the items you want to donate. 
Sorry about the passing of your father.  I know how overwhelming it is!! Hope this has helped a little.

I cleared my mother’s house after she’d moved into a carehome. I don’t know how, but I methodically and with little emotion went through every room on my own, keeping anything personal and throwing anything I didn’t want in my house in a big skip. It worked for me.
We then got a house clearance who was amazing and took all the furniture to an auction.
It was a much easier task than I thought. Probably made easier that my mum is still alive.
I wish you luck and strength. You will be fine.

I think your clean out process depends on 1)how much time you have, & 2) how much attachment you, (or family), have to the contents. Myself, I prioritized useful papers (documents) & any sentimental pieces I would keep. Then I asked friends to help me throw away stuff, &take any furniture, or tools, ect they wanted. Finally, the estate guy was a waste of time so I called goodwill who took large items, & bagged clothing or linens. I only had 3 weeks to get it all out of my mother's apartment, or owe another $900. It was snowing like hell 2 days after Christmas, & Goodwill came through for me. I got in trouble for filling up all the dumpsters though, lol. Good luck.

Realtors are a good resource for people to help you clear out and clean the house. They are usually small business owners so they don’t charge you an arm and a leg. I just did my mom’s house. Even with all of the help I lost 17 pounds organizing and putting the house up for sale:)

Sorry if this has already been suggested, but there are auction houses that do estate sales. Take what you want, schedule the estate sale/auction, and they will come and organize the whole house, you will probably make enough to pay for them to haul away whatever is left. Many places have people who are experienced with dealing with loss, and they understand.
i wish I had done that first. Another option- I gave the key to my dads neighbors and I asked them if they knew anyone in need (because I live 3 hours away). They came over every night, packed boxes to donate to the Girl Scouts, etc... and they managed to get rid of a 5 bedroom house worth of stuff with 2 kitchens! You’d be amazed at how many people would love to take dining room sets, appliances, couches etc. any college student will come! If you have a trusted neighbor, it would be a good option, just make sure you’re ok with letting everything go. (Take what you want, and let family take what they’d like first) good luck!

First of all, Im so sorry for your loss. I was in a similar situation when my mother passed away. She was luckily a clean freak and everything in her home was so well organized. The hardest part for me was actually going through her things. It was hard emotionally. The first step i took was going through her closet and took all over her pants out and put them in trash bags to donate. That was my first step because i knew that i couldnt fit into her pants and so to me that was easiest. At the time of my moms passing I had just moved from my place to her place so her 2 car garage was full of my stuff. So i literally went room by room. And the things that were in a certain room that were just too much for me to handle at the time i skipped. But everyday i tried to do something. At the beginning I didnt want to get rid of anything. I wanted to keep everything. Just because it reminded me of her. I had to move shortly after her passing so I was forced to go through things quickly and alone. What i did was donate a ton of stuff. But the things that I couldnt exactly let go of I just boxed up and would go through it later. After the move I must say I went through a box a day to try and get rid of things that I knew i did not need. As time went by and realizing that I have a house full of stuff that I dont need, Going through items later was much more easier. I did find myself at the beginning going through certain items and it would be so emotional for me that it took me all day just to go through one thing. Thats when i started skipping the items that i couldnt deal with right away. Start with the stuff that you know you wont need to spend much time on. Things that are not special to you. If you have a ton of items that you think is worth money and you need the money i would advise really thinking about the time it will take to sell it and store it, would it be worth it?...Donate and get a tax deduction. Also I dont know what area you are from but i know the trash pick up will come and pick up a couple of huge loads of stuff for free. Just remember to not over do yourself. If you have time, take it day by day. It's already an emotional time for you and stressful time having to deal with losing a loved one and then having all the things that go along with it afterwards. Remember to breathe and go at your pace. Hope everything works out for you and again Im so sorry for your loss.

I am in a similar boat.
My mom passed and I inherited the house.The basement alone should be on an episode of Hoarders.

It is solely my responsibility to remedy the situation and the task is overwhelming.

I am aware of companies that will assist me,but I can hear my mom saying,"Don't you let anybody go through my things,or my items aren't for roaming eyes to gander.

I am so sorry for your loss. If there is Junk King in your city, I would suggest calling them. They will come and pack everything up and take it away. They can give you an estimate and pack up everything and take it away the same day. We used them for my parents' townhome and they were wonderful.

I am reading this thread while sitting in my Dad’s place. Dad is 90, a hoarder and stuff needs to be moved out. To complicate things, the house is in a remote location, the property it in a trust with my brother and I as Remaindermen, so selling is not an option.

Because of the remote location it all falls on my brother and me. Dad will ‘let’ me dispose of old food in the cupboards, but not the stashes he has around the house. The house is just under 1000 sq/f and he has stocked up for the apocalypse. I did toss 4 bags of WW flour that were 10+ years and rancid.

Dad gets incredibly anxious when we try to even get rid of old newspapers. My brother can with work convince him to let some things go. But if I suggest anything Dad gets angry.

As well as the house there are 3 sheds and about 1/4 acre to go through. A couple years ago he had our wonderful handyman Barry, organize a shed, but he would not allow 4 old broken appliances to go. Anyone need a 60 year old fridge a 70 year old wringer washer and a couple old stoves? Did I mention old cars? Travel trailers? 1000’s of books, mostly economic theory, biographies of world leaders, gardening and old text books.

Now, I admit to hoarding tendencies too. Earlier this spring I hired a declutterer and Carolin has been a godsend. I pay her $60/hour and she is worth every penny. She is also helping me with organizing. We do the keep, and put away, an important step, donate, she takes it at the end of the day, and toss, which we take to the dump the next day.

I recently met a woman who augments her income by having garage sales. I will be dropping off the donate items to her.

If there is any money available to you, hire helpers. It is always easier to go through a stranger’s stuff than your own, or stuff that may trigger memories. Volunteers are great if you can find them.

Going through my own home with Carolin has let me see it from another point of view. If she asks about an item that triggers me, I tell her I will turn my back and she can make it disappear.

I am a quilter and sewer, so I have fabric, patterns, notions, thread out the wazoo. I met a woman who runs an Home Ec program at a school in an impoverished neighbourhood. I will be boxing up a bunch of stuff her her program next week.

You are dealing with a lot. There are estate sale companies that will come in, go through your stuff and sell it for a commission. They then arrange for removal of left over things, you get a check and it’s a done deal. Ask for referrals if you go this route as you want a reputable company. This was the most cost effective option I found to deal with the stuff, emptying the house and help to pay for final expenses. Good luck as you move through this chapter of life.

You might try hoarder cleaning service: example: https://www.clutterhoardingcleanup.com/services/hoarding-clean?gclid=Cj0KCQjwjMfoBRDDARIsAMUjNZqeoW1_2o1dLuVJ0K6oGjuzsIZo9WpUyiNZNT5d5x239sdLLdu-HFoaAvqyEALw_wcB

My way was not quick. It was my husband's stuff and also my stuff that I did not need any more.

Amazingly, in 3 years, I donated $9000.00 worth of stuff. I priced the things according to Goodwill's price list. Lots of clothing but other things, too. At tax time, this helped me reduce my taxes. I itemized and recorded all donations. This was all "little" stuff. It went to VVA -American veterans. They came with a truck a few times and took the stuff away. I did not have to put it in my car and take it there.

A whole woodworking shop of equipment-- I negotiated with a person who was starting out with his own business of doing repairs and building. He did it in trade for doing work on our house. I had to sell it and move to a much smaller place.

Using ads in the newspaper, I sold our garden tractor, hauling trailer, air compressor, pressure washer, chain saw, etc.

Family came to help and took many tools, etc.  but hey did not want the bigger machines. I had hoped these would stay in the family. Darn. Very sad for me to part with.

His car-I sold. I did not need it. A local friend who owned a garage helped find a person to buy it.

When I moved, I had to put stuff in a storage unit. I just moved the leftovers to my own garage. Stuff I wanted to have. Even some of this will be donated or trashed.

My husband did not die. Recently, he "just" went to a nursing home. His stroke was 13 years ago and he lived with me for most of that time. Getting rid of all this was very hard. I did it little by little. Finally, I am getting to the end of this process.

christine

To add to my previous posting, I had the Realtor start showing the house before I had all of the furniture out. Since the house was being sold "as is", I didn't even do any painting or replacing of rugs [did have the rug cleaned to get that "old smell" out of the house.

The listing noted the house was being sold "as is" and that the price reflected that the house needed updating. My parents were the type [and so am I], don't replace anything unless it cannot be fixed.

A flipper purchased the house and even offered for me to leave whatever furniture that was left over. The flipper went in and ripped out all of the old carpeting and put in place hardwood flooring. He totally gut the kitchen and reconfigured it. Same with the master bathroom. So I am glad I didn't do any updating, painting, or replacing of carpets.

The contract price was excellent. The flipper was happy, my Dad [who was now living in senior living] was happy. It was a win-win :)

This can vary from area to area. Lot of flippers hungry for houses that need updating here in the Washington DC burbs.

There is a company called “GotJunk” that will bring a truck and 2 guys to your place to haul away junk. We used it in Massachusetts to have an old broken refrigerator carted off. And again in Ohio to have an old freezer carted away. They had to haul the big freezer out of the basement. They charge by the item and give you a quote. 300 dollars to cart away some huge items was a godsend. It had been taking up space for 20 years cause we couldn’t move it