Through a series of tragedies over the last 30 years - including both my mother's and my younger sister's death - I've ended up as the only surviving family member of my 75 year old father, aside from his 77 year old sister. I live hundreds of miles away from him; I don't have a family, but I've have a career and a life here for the past twenty years, though I visit my dad several times a year.
Dad has had many health issues over the last 10 years, including a major stroke and quadruple bypass surgery. Now, he's ended up with colon issues that have left him with surgery and a colostomy bag. He's getting less and less mobile, his health issues keep compounding, and to complicate matters, he has very little money - just SSI and some disability, no savings, no retirement, nothing. He's currently in a rehab facility, but he will only be able to afford it for a couple of weeks while insurance covers it, after which he may or may not be able to take care of himself.
I can't bring him back here to take care of him - I live in a small place with my partner, and my own mental health issues leave me wholly unsuited to full time caretaking. His sister has been helping, but she's getting older, and has her own issues to deal with. She wants him to go to an assisted living facility, but even putting aside whether or not he'd agree to it, I don't think he can afford to do so right now, not from the research I've done. I'm very much at a loss to figure out how to help from so far away. I can go down there for short periods at a time, but I can't afford to take long-term time off from my job to help in person. I don't know what we're going to do with him when his weeks at rehab are up, because my aunt can no longer do as much for him as he needs, and I don't know what kind of help either my dad or I can afford to get him.
If anyone here has any advice - either practical or emotional, ways to deal with the crippling guilt I'm feeling right now - I would greatly appreciate it.