My father has a Parkinsonian disorder, can barely walk and has trouble swallowing, and my mother suffers from a mix of mental illness, early dementia and caregiver burnout. She refuses to accept any help with his day-to-day care because she says things are not that bad. I think they know things are really bad -- he's incontinent for heaven's sake, but they refuse to admit it. They both tell me he is getting better all the time. Besides, my mother is certain that a cure, a magic bullet, will be invented any day now. A man they met at church told her so!
What they have done is to latch onto every person in their life who supports this view and to avoid people who do not. This turns out to be not seeing or taking advice from the reputable doctors and instead taking advice from people like their gardener, personal trainer, former business contacts, bank tellers etc. I can't really blame them for telling my folks what they want to hear, but it is so frustrating to talk with my parents about downsizing and then to have my mother say, "Well, the trainer and the man at the bank say your father looks the best they've ever seen him, I don't think we need any help or to move. He's getting better."
If I had POA and my parents had a plan for their care this would not be an issue but we do not. Instead of talking about those essential, practical issues they just want to tell me about the latest exciting suggestion from their wonderful "friends" ie you should only eat meat (bad idea for Parkinsons) or you should fly to China for treatment.
Thank you, wonderful people, for letting me vent.