I'm 28 and live in NY. My mother is 63 and no major physical health issues other than diabetes, but I do think she might have undiagnosed bipolar disorder based on past cycles of manic episodes and deep depression as I've grown up. She spent years taking care of my grandmother alone when we were living in NY and when my grandmother died, she left the house to my mother and my uncle. After I graduated high school and went away to college, my uncle bought my mom out for $100K and she moved into a house in Philadelphia that has been in my dad's name in trust for me since my mother has a previous criminal record and lots of related debt. The house needed a lot of work, but she ended up spending all of the $100K and not fixing up the house. She doesn't know where she spent the money (she's a shopaholic and generally bad with money). Now she has been living in a house with no running water for years and has a hoarding problem with piles of stuff all throughout the house. I've tried to convince her to find a part time job or move out to an apartment. I offered to help pay a portion of the rent.
The house she is living in was recently transferred into my name, so that I could take out a loan to do repairs and get the house in good enough shape that she could ultimately live in it. However, my loan application was rejected because of bad marks on my credit from when my mom opened a bunch of credit cards in my name years ago without my knowledge and they haven't fallen off my credit report yet. She also previously lied to me when I was in high school and took me to the bank to get access to my college savings fund, which she spent all $20K of and that I only found out about a few years ago.
I'm finally in a financial position within my career where I could supplement a small apartment somewhere else in Philadelphia until she gets off the waiting list for a couple senior housing apartments that I made her apply to. However, I don't feel like she is really taking this seriously and I found out she has an ex boyfriend staying there who I know does drugs (my mom doesn't, she is a shopaholic hence the money problems). I don't want him living in a house that is now in my name (he previously choked my mother and is an alcoholic) and now I don't feel comfortable co-signing a temp apartment for her if she is going to lie to me and have him living in it. I can get the work on the house done slowly over the next 2 -3 years, but I don't know if I should just wash my hands of the situation and transfer the house to her name and let her figure it out. I don't really know what to do. She has lied to me so often that I can't trust her and I don't want to be bogged down in the situation with her and this guy. I just want her to have somewhere decent to live and then live her own life. I have no siblings, so this is all on me. She has diabetes, but no other health issues and could look for a part time job but she doesn't. She gets money from my dad and makes her ex boyfriend give her money to stay in what is now my house. I feel so guilty that she has been living this way, but I never had the means to do anything about it.
How to I get her to take seriously that she has to move somewhere that at least has running water?