How can you tell if a caregiver is trying to alienate you from your parent? And further, what actions can be taken?

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Could you give us a few more details about what is being done to make you feel this is going on?
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If you suspect something is going on...it probably is. Most caregivers I have dealt with have been professional and understand that, no matter how much they love your parent, they are not family and should not insinuate themselves as such.
There is a natural closeness that develops between a client and paid caregiver. However, if he/she is getting possessive, contradicting your directions, taking sides with your parent against you, or helping themselves to belongings, medications, or money, it is time for a replacement.
I would start by clarifying their role in your parent's home...it could just be a misunderstanding. If the behavior continues, find another caregiver.
I have heard too many horror stories about paid caregivers who get just a little too involved with their charges. They are there to do a job, albeit in very intimate surroundings, and that means keeping a "professional distance."
In the past I have hired 2 to 3 rotating caregivers. It gives Mom variety and more people to interact with. Also, if one person gets ill or is on vacation I have a backup. It insures that no one gets too "entrenched" in her private life. Of course, I monitor their work and pop in once and awhile while they are there. This may seem extreme...but, with so many scams out there, better safe than sorry.
(btw, do you live with or near your parent? Is this a full or part time arrangement for the caregiver?)
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