How can you cope with an elderly mom who always goes against you, complains and is constantly putting me down?

I think that, from your profile, when people start thinking that their caregivers are stealing from them, their condition is getting pretty advanced and could warrant placement somewhere other than your home.

I feel your pain on the complaining! Ugh, my mom complains all.the.time. It makes it very hard for me to talk to her cuz I can't stand it. It's the same stuff, different day.

Going against you is tough. I guess since she probably has dementia that you can just chalk her behavior up to the dementia. Did she always put you down or is this new as she ages? Either way, I'm sure it's hard to deal with.

IF mom is cognizant you tell her that since she is living with you she needs to follow the rules of the household. If she can not do that then you will help her find Assisted Living facility that will take "better care" of her.
If you do not engage her when she starts in.
If you walk out of the room when she starts.
She will have no one to argue with.

IF she is NOT cognizant then look for Memory Care facilities that are in your area and tour a few and make a selection. If you want her to tour with you as well get it narrowed down to 2 and let her chose.

Your best bet is to place mom in Memory Care Assisted Living, as explained in your other post. Alzheimers/dementia behaviors often reach the point where the elder is compromising YOUR happiness in your own home, and that of your children, which is unacceptable. In Memory Care, they get to socialize with elders and stay active all day, and you get to go back to being a daughter instead of a burned out caregiver. It's a win/win situation for the entire family.