My mom was hospitalized for severe constipation for SIX DAYS! She’s had in home care for about 3 weeks and family coming as well to work with her. They will be done soon and Mom will still be chair ridden, I believe.
She can’t walk or toilet without assistance 24/7. I don’t expect family’s interest to last very long afterward. I live with her in her home free of rent and provide care. We are talking REAL 24/7 care with her not walking, meaning I have to arrange for a sitter to leave the house at all.
My question is: how do I keep my mom still trying to regain her strength when the cheering section is gone? She resists my efforts to keep her moving often resorting to lieing in bed for days at a time. Her complaints are many and they have been diagnosed as arthritis so not much help for it.
She was taking pain pills that were the cause of her bowel problems, they said, but more to the point, her ONLY activity is walking from bed to recliner and back. She wasn’t moving around much at all causing her metabolism to slow even more. Since she sleeps 16 hrs evry night, she doesn’t even need to get up and pee during her waking hours. She is still on her hospital schedule and waking early with an alarm right now, but that is not her reality at all. I can’t get her to get up before 2 in the afternoon normally.
Maybe I’m anticipating problems but we’ve been thru this many times. I get in home therapist here for strength building and as soon as they leave she goes back to her old routine. I’m serious, she finds a complaint and will stay in bed for DAYS barely eating or taking fluids. I try to enlist help with family, but I suppose by that time I sound like a screaming ninny and their response is: “she’s 92 you know,” or, “ya she’s lazy.” That doesn’t help me one bit to get her moving.
I understand completely when she asks me why should I get up? Her eyesight is poor, she can’t hear, no one is around but all that is worse because of her willingness to do nothing! Is this going to be a scenario much like a drug addict that I have to accept that it’s all up to her to take an interest in her own life and health?
I feel so responsible that I can’t motivate her myself. Truthfully, she was not taking as many pain pills as she said because I withheld them a lot without her knowing. The last thing I wanted was for her to become an easy chair junkie. She was prescribed narcotic pain pills for diabetic neuropathy and since she left the hospital she’s been getting only Tylenol and let me tell you, she is not happy with that. She’s also getting a lot of digestive meds and laxatives so she won’t get backed up again. I think it is their visits that motivate her cooperation, and I just haven’t been able to stimulate her into trying to help herself when we are alone. We WILL be alone again I’m sure of that. We don’t have a car or much spending money so she really is isolated. I can walk to nearby stores but not now that she can’t get up at all. Any advice please?