Follow
Share

This may be a totally inappropriate topic for this board. But I figure, I have come to know and trust these people, so what the heck. My ALZ dad was in rehab for a couple weeks a month ago. While there, I got to know one of his physical therapists and felt the closest connection I had felt with someone for a long long time. My dad then went back to the hospital then back to the nursing home where she worked, though I didn't see her as she didn't work on the nursing home wing. As we moved my dad out yesterday to a memory care, I ran into her for the first time in a month and the rush of feelings came back. As my dad is no longer at that facility, I will never run into her again, but would like to somehow keep up some dialogue or at the extreme ask her out. Am I way off base here? Is this a totally inappropriate thing to be thinking? Or is there some action I can take? I do have her contact info from a business card, but don't want to contact her inappropriately. She doesn't wear a ring or appear to be attached, though one cannot know that.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I don't see linking this to the #metoo movement, Karsten isn't an employer who is exerting undue influence or even a fellow employee that could make work life uncomfortable, he's just a family member of a former client. And maybe it's a tech or generational thing but personally I would never use someone's work email about a personal matter any more than I would ask an acquaintance about work related business on their time off, the two lines shouldn't cross.

(I've gotta admit, there are so many roadblocks today it's a mystery to me how people ever manage to get together)
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

I know this is very very bottom priority but perhaps adding a level of levity here. I did end up sending this PT a more generic email, thanking her for her care for my dad, telling her I had enjoyed meeting her, and saying I was glad I had run into her the last day as I had not seen her around for a while. I said I had wanted to stop by and chat but she looked busy.

Received an email back saying if I do find myself in that facility again, please stop by her office to say hi. So perhaps I am keeping the dialogue going. Will wait a while before emailing back.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Do you have any indication if this woman shares your strong feelings? I think that would be the first indicator of following up on a relationship.

I guess I have mixed feelings about this, but if your father isn't a patient there, I don't see any reason why a relationship couldn't develop if you're both interested. However, she may be a bit hesitant in the event that your father ever does return, and that could constitute a conflict of interest.

I think the biggest issue though is whether she reciprocates your feelings.

I've found that staff in medical situations can be very friendly, but it's only part of their job. They're still very professional, and reserve or limit interaction with parents and their families.

I'd be interested in reading what others' think about this situation.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Isn't this common with the start of any relationship? You can't know how compatible you are until you get to know each other better, and you can't know if someone is even interested unless you ask. For goodness sakes, just ask if she is with someone and would like to go out for a coffee, I imagine you are both past the age to play coy games.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

I think it is nice that you have a place you feel comfortable asking for advice. Caregivers often feel so isolated... Here we can help each other not feel so alone.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Karsten, I have to take issue with your statement that you "probably should not even have wasted peoples time on this issue which is 1/1000 as significant as the real issues people here deal with every day. But thanks anyway. I will drop her an email."

Your mental and physical health and well being as a caregiver are VERY significant, and interaction with friends, or someone who's more than a friend, can make a very big difference in your life.

Since my father passed, I've had a chance to get together with family for meals out, and it's helped me tremendously. I feel more centered, less anxious, and more decisive. On the other hand, I'm probably eating too much delicious food!
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Medical professionals, for the most part, are kind and caring. That's why many go into that field. Maybe sending her a thank you card for her care of your dad would be appropriate along with your business card. If she is interested, she may contact you.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Why not invite her for a cup of coffee and see how it goes? Keep us posted.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Karsten,
No to the e-mail.
There was one month, maybe she was not on your mind?
But then you saw her again.

Ok, if you are looking for a match, or just a date, you need to act like it.  No worries about the "metoo" movement, because you are not asking her to undress, have sex.  It would be totally her choice if she said yes.

Send the nicest bouquet of flowers to her at work, elaborate.  There are roses (colors) designated for friendship. Add an elaborate thank you card, addressing only her, with your phone number on it. Then add your e-mail.

If she thanks you by e-mail, forget it.

If she phones you up, with a smile in her voice, talks awhile, ask her to join you for coffee.

What would I know anyway.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

thanks for insights. I probably should not even have wasted peoples time on this issue which is 1/1000 as significant as the real issues people here deal with every day. But thanks anyway. I will drop her an email.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter