My grandfather is 75 and has had a phobia of doctors his entire life. He has never seen one and refuses to go, especially now. He doesn't have any memory loss, but he does get delusional, it comes and goes. He started lying recently, feeding the dog from the plate and while doing it, say he isn't.
He's a very big man and can get violent, so tricking him to the doctor or having him made incompetent seems catastrophic.
Without tests we have no idea if it's dementia, or if there are other brain issues that could cause his behaviour. My grandmother is a stubborn woman, and flips between helping him and getting angry at him (out of fear I imagine, they've been married almost 60 years). My uncle lives next door and he causes my grandfather a LOT of stress and anxiety, he has his entire life, and he once cause him to have a mental breakdown several years ago.
So these are the two nearest to him who are taking care of him. What can we do? We can't be there all of the time, but they yell at him and make him feel terrible. He's had depression his whole life, something my grandmother refuses to acknowledge because when she asks him if he's depressed he says no. We're really stuck. If a doctor is out of the question, and moving him is out of the question, and his primary caregivers both suffer from mental illness themselves, what can we do? If anyone can please give me some advice it would be greatly appreciated. He's a great man, watching this happen is more heart breaking than we ever could have imagined.