Hi all I live a plane ride away from my mother who is in increasingly failing health. My sister is the primary carer and is exhausted by the demands being made on her. My sister is not a talker and I have struggled to get a sense of what is going on. My mother only gives me good news and hates it when I try to challenge her. My sister has become increasingly distant over the years and I have struggled with this too. It turns out that she has been silently screaming for a very long time and expected me to just "get it." Today I was called stupid, naive, uncaring, living in la la land ect. I hurts me grievously to hear this. It does not help that we have nothing in common and are very different temperamentally. Today she told me that she is sick of doing all my thinking for me and if I want to help from afar I will need to figure it out for myself. I've come up with a few ideas, I already do her grocery shopping on line, I do her finances when I visit, I could coordinate her doctor visits and home help remotely. Anyone got any more ideas?