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I wrote a few months ago about my problem and it is getting worse. My husband does not want my 91 year old mom at our house and I have to keep her two days a week. I guess my last resort will be to decide if I stay with my husband or if I care for my mom.
Today I went to work, left work early to take my mom to a doctor's appointment, when I was done with the appointment, I was afraid to go home because I knew my husband would be furious about her being here. I just can't take it anymore. I don't mind watching my mom, but it is so hard when it causes so much friction between my husband and I. I wish he could understand that there is nothing I can do. She is 91 and I need to help take care of her. My brother cares for her the rest of the time and sometimes hires someone to do so, but I have committed myself to having her 2days a week. Please help me with some advise. I just don't know anymore and I'm becoming very depressed. My children tell me I am not the person I used to be. I used to be very positive and always laughing and happy, and now I am always depressed, crying and I see no way out. Sometimes I even wish I was gone so I wouldn't have to go through this. My life has been a little harder than most people. I have had many losses and many ill members of the family to take care of. I just wish I was left alone to do what I need to do and that's it. That's all I ask for.
Thanks in advance for your replies.

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What are your husband's specific objections? From your post it sounds as though he just doesn't want your mother there but doesn't have any specific reasons. Is he jealous or resentful that he's not getting attention as he might think he deserves?

Are your children old enough to help? If they've observed changes in you, I would think they are. It's too bad they can't pull together and support you and make this a family situation to help your mother in her time of need.
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What is your husband's suggestion for an alternative caregiving situation? Does mom have assets that could be used for assisted living or memory care? As much as you and your brother might want to keep her at home, she may need more professional care than you or your brother are capable of. Also, if she has dementia, moving her to a new setting two days a week can't be optimal for her.
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Tell hubs that he can accept Mom 2 days a week, and be happy about itOr he can kick up a fuss and take care of himself when he NEEDS care. If your brother is doing most of they care I applaud you for you 2 days a week! I am sure your brother does too! Most of us would love to only have 2 days a week of care! What does hubs plan to do with his folks? How long have you been married to this guy? Why should you be afraid to go to your own home? You work, so I Assume you help pay the bills! Maybe take a good long look at your own possible future with this man? Is he planning to dump you somewhere? Sorry if this sounds harsh but COME ON!!
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