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My wife has been in memory care for about 1 1/2 weeks. She is extremely agitated. They have given her anxiety medication but it does not seem to solve the problem. I have been her primary caregiver for over 5 years. Any insights would be appreciated.

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Reply to Phogan001
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Thanks for the information and input. It helps just knowing that I am not alone.
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Reply to Phogan001
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I am going through this right now. My Mama has been there 3 weeks. I have been her caregiver alone for 6 1/2 years since my Daddy died. I know this is HARD! Her glasses broke and we had to go get those fixed. She had messy pants and needed pull ups the first 2 days. She was stressing from being in the hospital and then moving there. I can only go for about 2 times a week. Otherwise it ends in tears all around. She has to stay there because I have 2 throat operations coming up but not for a few months. We have to hang in there together my friend. Week 3 is already a little better. She is doing more and actually does not stay in her private room much. She just goes along with the flow to the activities. Opposite of what I thought she would do. Let's give the Memory Care a chance together!
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Reply to BootShopGirl
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Give it more time. She is agitated but she is safe. You too need more time to adjust to the change.
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Reply to GAinPA
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It is not at all uncommon for a facility to ask family to stay away for a week or two. This aids in the transition, helps the resident to transition to receiving care from others. This happened with my mom, and there were always days she was agitated throughout the 3+ years she was in a facility. Early on she was hospitalized for a geriatric psych assessment. That helped the docs figure out what combo of meds would work for her. That may come next.

It is very important that you learn to take a step back and allow the medical professionals do their jobs to the best of their ability. It is very difficult for loving family members to do that. Just remember this is about what is best for your wife and it takes some time to figure out.

Don't bring her back home. Just know the transition will take more time for everyone.
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Reply to gladimhere
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Phogan, I'm so sorry that you are going through this!

Have you talked to the facility social worker? Who is prescribing the meds?

Does the SW think it might help her get settled if you stayed away for a week or so?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Do not bring her home. A week and a half is not long enough for her to become accustomed to the place or them to her. The staff at the Memory Care are used to agitation and anxiety issues and they will handle it. They will contact the doctor if they feel it’s necessary. This is not uncommon behavior. I’m sure you did not make this decision lightly. There must have been a need for her to be placed. Bringing her home would be a giant step backwards. Then, what if she needs to be placed again in a few months?

If you are visiting every day, stop. Seeing you reminds her she is not home and increases her agitation especially if yiu, yourself become anxious. Visit once a week until she settles down.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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