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The first two days I went to the place for Breakfast with her and also when there for the evening meals, maybe I am causing the agitation because she wants to “go home” any guidance would be appreciated.

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I agree to give her a time to adjust. But I think the times you go maybe a problem. Mornings are hectic no matter what type of facility it is. Getting people up, ready and out to the dining area by 8am. Hectic. Then u go at dinner when they start to sundown. Maybe lunch? Or visit early afternoon.
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I kept visiting when my LO went into regular AL and it was horrible. She was constantly calling me and very insistent on when she would leave. When she wasn't the one calling the staff was, due to one problem or the other. When she transferred to Memory Care, the staff at the new facility asked me to stay away for 10 days to allow her to adjust. I called after 3 days just to see what was going on. I was shocked when they said, no problem, she's fine. I waited for them to call me if there was a problem, which, there wasn't and she was fine when I did visit. They were right.
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Honestly, I would stay away for three or four days. I’m surprised the staff didn’t suggest this to you. Your wife needs to get to know the staff and the facility. And, they need to get to know her. They have their own routines and schedules and she needs to learn those as well. It’s tempting to assuage our own feelings of guilt, if there are any, by staying close to our loved one. And, we think no one can care for them like we can. However,when we constantly appear, we remind them that they aren’t “home”. Your wife will constantly tell you she wants to go “home”. In my mother’s case, “home” was her childhood home of the 1930’s. When your wife tells you she wants to go home, use what we call the therapeutic fib and tell her when the doctor says she’s better, you’ll talk about it.
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Phogan001 Aug 18, 2018
Thanks. I think your advice is correct. The caregiver keep tell me it up to me, if I had knew the answer I would not be asking them. She keeping agitated when I show up.
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