My husband was diagnosed in March with dementia and our lives have just spiraled. i am still learning about this disease so any help would be appreciated. He has gone through the accusation stage and is now currently this week getting a neighbor woman involved that i don't know-but she picks him up while I'm at work and takes him places. He carries no money so not sure what she expects from him. As of last night he wants to give her a list of his meds to see what he can quit taking-to my knowledge she was a user at one time, he wants her to look over our bills to see where i am blowing his disablitiy money. Says she is going to be his saving grace to keep him out of a nursing home, there has been no talk about putting him in a nursing home. This all came about last night when I got home and he was missing. The woman won't answer her phone or talk to me so not sure how to handle.
I told him that this may be an answer for us since he isn't able to stay home alone and that calmed him down but I don't want this woman involved in our lives. I really believe that after a couple of days of his demanding ways that she will get tired of it and quit coming around.
Any advice how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.

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Don't trust this neighbor. Your husband may not carry cash but if you're not home with him she has access to all of you financial information which your husband sounds like he's more than happy to turn over to her. You can't blame your husband for wanting to turn over your bills to this lady because of his dementia but this lady doesn't have dementia and should not insert herself into your lives. That's suspicious.

Unfortunately you're going to have to count on this lady to do the right thing because your husband can't make a determination anymore of what the right thing is. This neighbor shouldn't want access to your bills, she shouldn't want to be involved with his medications. And she should have made contact with you by now if she's gotten that chummy with your husband. Because she hasn't I would read that as a red flag.
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What are your feelings about the neighbor lady? How old is she? Is she single or widowed? I ask this because I have seen some older women who want a boyfriend so badly that they have no respect for the sanctity of marriage. If you think she may be this predatory type, it would probably be a good idea to try to keep her away from your husband. He is vulnerable right now. Perhaps you can call in someone to be with your husband while you work, or maybe he would like for you to drop him off at a senior center.

There was a predatory woman who was after my ex before we separated. I like to joke that he almost tripped over her going out the front door as I was headed out the back. They got together for a while after I left, and I loved it. It was nice to end a relationship on a comic note, because I knew the woman was daffy. He quickly broke it off with her, which ended up with her going crazy and stalking him. It was so funny. There are women out there desperate for a man. If your neighbor lady is like that, I would find some way to dispatch her.
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Has his type of dementia been diagnosed in detail, by a neurologist or other specialist? That would give you more understanding of what to expect and how to handle it. There are specific support groups to help you when you have a more specific diagnosis. You should get your legal and financial house in order with Durable POAs, if he will give them to you. Make sure you take control of the money ASAP. He may make disastrous decisions. My sympathies to you. Catch up with this diagnosis before his behavior gets worse
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