We have our house for sale and it is in both my husband and my names. My husband has many financial problems and debt. It is impossible to have a logical conversation re the sale of the house and the proceeds. I have been paying all the household expenses and also the Real Estate taxes which are quite high. I think we will have to split the proceeds from the sale into two separate accounts. I also think I should be reimbursed for at least half of the real estate taxes I have paid. How do I have a conversation with someone who can't follow logic? Legally am I responsible for him?
her POA papers said that POA would get no compensation - when I talk to lawyer I asked about this because back up is a bank & they wouldn't do that without $$$ [& it was noted that possible POAs had agreed to this ... no] - lawyer said that should not have been in the POA papers [lawyer admitted that was her mistake & I copied & kept that correspondence of my emails with her .... when in doubt copy it] - I was to keep track of my time for 2 months then at minimum wage & take a certain % of mom's net worth - when I did that it was about the same - the lawyer was happy with amount involved for my compensation [kept that too]
For a while I was reluctant to take that $$ but I realized that after nearly 2 years mom was worth more than when I took over despite all those thousands of dollars spent on her care + 2 new wheelchairs + doing final funeral expenses - she had not been doing anything about finances except when [we would regularly talk about our stocks] shortly after I bought something she would - she used a 'discount' broker which only follows your instructions - make sure that if your loved one uses this type to get them into a full broker who will give notifications & advice
About final funeral plans - the bank is executor of her will - the man who will be in charge strongly urged me to do this while I'm POA because if mom died on a Fri evening of a long weekend we would have no power to deal with funeral home but because my POA dies with her - so all her children got together to do this without the trauma of a recent death making everyone behave at their worst - I also write a overview every 18 months or so & copy the bank - mom left $$ to a girl who she 'fostered' through one of those charities & my sister took on the job of tracking her down in Haiti after that massive earthquake but this girl couldn't be found [better sooner than later] so we all said that money goes to Haitian relief & bank is okay with this - NOTE THIS DOES NOT HOLD UP MOM'S ESTATE FOR YEARS LOOKING FOR HER
FYI - my dad has in his POA document that 2 drs must declare him incompetent before it can be enacted
BEST ADVICE I GOT - buy a multi subject school book and another plane book - take 1 'subject' each of medical, financial, contact numbers [subdivided into family, gov't, care, drs/eye/teeth/meds on different pages] + anything else pertenant - use the 'plane' book [or one of 'subjects' but you can run out of space] for a log of times you speak to anyone taking care of your loved one at least in the initial year or so until things quite down a lot - get everyone's full name/employee number [not just 'Mary'], time of start of call & end, date & quick note on discussion - many times having that "John Jones on 6 Sept at 1140 told me this.... why is it different now?" resulted in a later further explanation/exploration to my favour
If prepared by an attorney, it can include provisions that allow the proxy/attorney-in-fact to act w/o declaration of cognitive compromise.
At least the house is in both of your names.
The major problem I see is if he begins to sign any papers and a lawyer sees that he is confused or if the lawyer even suspects that he has problems that could void or hold up a sale. A person that is not cognizant can not sign legal documents.
You may have to become his guardian.
Please talk to an Elder Care Attorney. Expensive, but most lawyers are, but you need to do this for your own safety. (financial safety not personal)