Some of you have seen my posts before and I won't get into too much detail, but my mom has been deteriorating over the last 2 years. I had her in a lovely independent living facility, but I had a feeling the independence part wouldn't fly for too long. Of course Covid complicated things, but mom was already dealing with dementia and ESRD (which could be of course VERY closely related....most likely vascular dementia). But anyway....
She had tried to leave the facility, at night, and at one time became very agitated with a staff member when they told her she could not leave (this was actually at 4 in the morning and she had her bag backed and was heading home she said). Anyway, I was told that she really cannot stay there. They have given her some basic AL services (her meds, prompts for meals and dressing), but they believe she isn't safe there (she tried to walk out the back through kitchen and people on their smoke break just happened to see her).
I did finally get her hospice, and she is now on seroquel so her leaving/ wandering at night is MUCH better. But she falls frequently. And she doesn't really do much/leave her apartment. They want her to call them when she showers but she is stubborn and still wants to do it herself.
Anyway, I started the Medicaid process and she will most likely qualify in the next week. I also have 2 different skilled nursing facilities that I believe have open rooms/beds available.
I had also talked to a company called PACE, which if you aren't familiar is a Medicaid program that allows a person to stay in their home. In this situation we would bring her back home with us. The nighttime stuff and wandering worries me and I'm just starting a new job as an NP and my husband works full time and I have a 14 year old starting high school, so I'm a little worried that even with the PACE program I may be over my head.
My questions are this...
1. Are there people in nursing homes/skilled facilities that are still fairly mobile and do they do activities kind of like AL facilities? Can it be a positive experience? I feel sick about the prospect. The one we are looking at professes that they are a home like atmosphere and offer all that...
2. Does anyone have any experience with PACE?
Sorry for my long-winded note. Just trying to get all the info out there.
This has been a long-gut wrenching journey that started with my father taking his own life and I just want my mom to have some peace and I'd like to be at peace with some of this. May not be possible. Life Is hard. I get it.
Just wanted some input from this supportive community! Thank you all in advance.