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My mom passed away on January 30th. She was 101 years old. I am very much aware that she lived a long, good life. She passed away in her sleep. She was pretty much full of life up until the week she died. (She had a stroke a few years ago that greatly limited her mobility) but aside from getting confused from time to time, her mind was still good. The problem is I miss her a lot. A lot of people are unsympathetic towards me just because she was 101. Am I wrong for missing her?

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You have people in your life who are not sympathetic? You mother died 3 weeks ago! It doesnt matter how old she was!

There is something seriously wrong with those people!!

My deepest sympathies on your loss; be comforted by your many good memories.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Oh my gosh, of course you are not wrong for missing her. Not at all. Look at how long she was with you. She died recently. It hasn’t been a long time. Of course you miss her terribly.

I bet it felt like she would always be with you, so much so that you most likely could not envision a world without her.

I am sure that you knew one day she would be gone but it felt like she would live in your heart forever. You know what? She will live in your heart forever.

Just because someone leaves this physical world it doesn’t mean that you automatically stop having feelings about them or stop loving them.

Your feelings are completely normal. My dad died in 2002 and I think of him often. We don’t ever forget how special they were.

I am so sorry for your loss. You are entitled to grieve. It is healthy to grieve. Don’t suppress your feelings. In time the deep mourning will ease up but for now please don’t question your feelings.

Mourn the loss of your mom. I don’t think her age plays a large part in this. Just because you had her longer than most others had their mom doesn’t mean that you won’t grieve.

Grieving is intensely personal. Some people grieve for a lifetime, others are at peace and do not grieve as long. They reach a point where they are able to celebrate the life of that person and that is beautiful too.

There are grief support groups if you want to participate in one and feel it will be helpful in adapting to her death.

You loved her and she loved you. You are blessed to have memories of a close bond.

Take care. 💗
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Your grief over your mother's death or your longing for your mother's company should never be kicked about in public discourse with strangers who lack the necessary understanding or baseline empathy.

Some people may be chiming in on your situation b/c they don't think much of their own mother and they are perplexed by your emotional attachment to your own. They may even view your persisting warm feelings as immature, odd, or strange.

Some people view the elderly as a social, financial, time, or physical burden and are confused by why you aren't glad your mom is finally gone.

Some people believe that anyone that lives past a certain age has punched their "real person ticket".

Thinking like this, it stands to reason that these people would possibly scold you for your grief.

I understand how you feel. I am very close to my mother. She is 92 and she is my best friend and my only true friend. She is the only person on this planet willing to love me unconditionally. When she dies, a big part of me will die with her.

But, life must and does go on and you should continue living your very best life because she would have wanted that for you!

I understand. You are not alone.
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Reply to gemmah
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In two months it will have been five years since my mom died. She was 92 when she passed. I still miss her each and every day. I probably will till the day I die.

It does not matter that your mom was old and death was to be expected. Love is love. It doesn't just stop when the person you loved dies. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

As far as I'm concerned there is no such thing as an acceptable amount of time for grief. Everyone is different.

You grieve for as long as you want and the way you want. HUGS!
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Reply to Gershun
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Clearly your “lot of people” are no experts in the dynamics of grief.

No one, NO ONE is entitled to tell you what your emotional stance “should” be unless there is some self harming element to it.

Your life, your loss, your feelings.
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Reply to AnnReid
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It would be weird if you didn't miss her.
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Reply to HelloImMinsu
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There is no one that should tell you how long to grieve, how to grieve.
You feel what you feel.
It does not matter how old your mom was. You lost the person that taught you how to be the woman you are today. You lost the person that guided you through some rough times and rejoiced with you during joyous times.
I am 66 my mom died 54 years ago and my dad died 50 years ago and I still miss them. And there are times when the loss is more painful. My Husband died 3 years ago and there are times when I hear a song on the radio and I just start to cry. It still hurts deeply.
The deep sorrow fades and becomes an ache, that fades as well but it remains.
Grief is on your own terms. Do not let anyone tell you how or when to stop.
This is a quote that the facilitator in one of my support groups gave me.
Grief never ends......
but it changes
It's a passage, not a place to stay
Grief is not a sign of weakness .... nor a lack of faith
It is the price of love....
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Reply to Grandma1954
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jackie2018 Feb 28, 2020
Thank you. That poem was beautiful. I just lost my kitty of 17yrs who was my constant companion. Being a single senior with little family she gave me companionship when I was lonely. I miss her dearly since she died 3 days ago.
(3)
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My dad's been gone 19 years. To this day, the song Morning Has Broken (played at his service) brings tears to my eyes. My FIL was 96, but I still miss him so much. A dear friend recently told me "you don't get over it, you get thru it, in your time, in your way".
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 28, 2020
Cat Stephens, ahhh yes. He played here many years ago. Love him. I had all of his albums.

Music touches my heart and soul the same way. Music triggers many memories for me.

Miles from Nowhere was my deceased brother’s favorite Cat Stephen’s song. I cry when I hear it. YouTube it and listen to the lyrics. They suited my brother to a T!
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I FORGOT --- THERE IS NO TIME LIMIT ON HOW LONG YOU TAKE TO GRIEVE OVER YOUR MOM....IT IS NOBODY'S BUSINESS... YOU ARE ALOUD TO TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED TO GRIEVE...
I'm still grieving my mom...gone 2018.

You will heal.. you will have "scar' wounds, but who doesnt? These too will disappear with time. don't listen to them.. My mom was 90..God
ld I miss her... and still do... I can grieve a long time.

This is not a "pity" party either. prayers are with you. Talk with her. Does she answer you? My dad used... Not as much anymore.

Oh ya, I am an orphan now.
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Reply to MAYDAY
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My mum passed on Feb 1st. As her son and caregiver, best friend and confidant I miss her terribly.
After medical discharge from USAF after 9 years. I moved in with mom in 2000. Dad died in 99 so she was alone. He was a alcoholic and abusive to her.
It was such a thrill to see mom
blossom and grow. She had 13 children but I alone did it all.
No help from family members except for occasional visits and meals. Mom was 88. She lived, she loved, and she died. I'm a better man for the privilege of being there. Isn't that what life is all about.
We traveled allot.
We partied allot.
We cried allot.
We loved each other lots.
I LOVE YOU MOM
P.S
Thankyou for also letting share.
Johnny
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Reply to Johnnym1964
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